Allen (allengator86) wrote,

Cleaning the Thoughts of My Beautiful Mind

You know what really stinks?  I think I'm just getting a big 'ol whiff of reality.  Again.  Oi.

I mean, I seriously think that I'm taking life WAY too seriously right now.  I have been finding myself just.....well, hating myself. I mean if I could get away from me, I would, but I can't.  I'm doing things that I've never done before, like for instance, I yelled at people yesterday.  Why?  I don't know, and I felt horrid afterwards.  Some people say it was justified...but I just don't think so.  Why have I become this way?  I seriously think its work.  I'm fairly certain that's what it is.  It depresses me because I can't quit, because of the stupid, idiotic, moronic college wanting to strip me of my financial aid, which they did beautifully (trust me, don't open THAT can of worms).  It just depresses me and conors me lie a mouse.  

I just feel..........

I wish I knew how I felt.  I don't know what it is, but I haven't felt truly happy in.......quite a long time.  I just want that feeling again.  I would try to trust people, but 99/100 they let me down.

There I go again.

Anyways, don't mean to concern anyone....I just....I just needed to put this out.  I'm deffinately not asking for help, and I'm not wanting a million messages of "OMG  R U OK???????!!!!!!!!!!!!??????".  I know I have true friends who are concerned, and I love you guys, but honestly, I'm just going to try to forget everything and focus on the new stuff again.  I'm just afraid that if you ask me about it, that it would just kindaremind me, and I'll be like this all over again.  If I need help, I'll ask for it.  Thanks guys *hugs*.

A non-bitter sidenote:  I watched "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.".  It is too sweet!

Take care.

The Allengator

  • Allen's Twetter

    One last Twet for the day. I took off the last layer of pants and underwear and put my jogging shorts on for sleepy time. Night everyone!

  • Allen's Twetter

    I love monkeys!

  • Allen's Twetter

    @BobMarley Your songs sound like a wailing hippie that is being killed by a grumbling acid tripper.

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