The Adventures of Angry Bob
Angry Bob was angry. "I am angry because I am lonely," said Angry Bob. "I must find a woman."
He went to a bar. He sat on a barstool. He saw a crowd gathered around a man. "What is going on?" Bob asked the woman next to him. "That's Dangerous Dan," she said. "He's the most dangerous fighter in the U.F.S.." "What is the U.F.S.?" asked Bob. "The Ultimate Fighting Series," she said, "It's on TV." "I do not like fighting," said Bob. The woman stared at Bob. "It is refreshing to meet a man who admits physical weakness. I would like to get to know you better."
The woman took Bob's hand and led him to her car outside. They turned on the stereo. They kissed. And for the first time in angry 38 years, Bob was happy. Happy kissing. Listening to music. Hearing the rhythmic knock. On the window. Made by Dan. Who had gome out to his wife's car to see why the headlights were on. Bob died. Many times.
Moral: There are worse things than being lonely.
Pastis, you son of a gun, thank you. I thought you gave up on Angry Bob. I'm so relieved now.