allengator86

Sometimes I am standing around, doing nothing in paticular (like at work for example -_-*), and as I do stuff, I wonder to myself, what's holding me back?  I am not talking about anything in paticular, but with some things, what keeps me from just leaving my house, going out to the middle of nowhere, and screaming?  Maybe its the fear of laryngitis.  Maybe its fear that someone will hear me.  Maybe, I'm just not that person.  I don't know.  I mean this entry has been heavily edited several times.  Originally is was some sick poetry thing like:

I wish I could grab your hand, so you could see the world we could share.
I wish I could just act normal when you're around, but I am like a spineless jellyfish.
I wish I could almost embrace you, but almost is so far away.
I wish someday, I can mutter those three little words again.
These, are just wishes, alas.

Yeah, I mean that is just way too deep for my blood.  Sometimes, I just wantto be someone else, but then I love who I am now.  I want to be known as someone who can hold his own, but I am always depending on someone.  Maybe someday my day will come.  I guess its my place to be an associate and college student.  I mean I just kind of keep my place.  I am just there.  I am, the everyman.  I just fit into society.  I have conformed to their ideas.  

I'm not fighting anything.  I don't wish anything was different.  All I want, is.............I don't know what I want, or what I wanted to accomplish with this.  I'm happy with the way things are now.  Maybe I just wish for them to be even better?  I just don't know.  Maybe I just yearned to have a serious entry.  Not saying that all of this means nothing, perish the thought.  I just felt the need to explain to everyone what I feel, in case you've forgotten amogst all the stupid joke I put on there.

I dedicate it to someone, and you know who you are.

The Allengator