Allen (allengator86) wrote,
Allen
allengator86

The Saga of Petey the Monkey - LJ10

Big daddy #10, yeah!

The Saga of Petey the Monkey

By The Allengator

Petey was feeling hungry one day, so he decided to grab a roast beef sandwich with a cold cream soda. He sat down at one of the booths and enjoyed his midday meal. He sighed to himself. “This is what its like to be happy. No women. No reality shows. No Genies. Just a simple roast beef sandwich and a cold cream soda is all my soul needs. As he was partway through his sandwich, he noticed a beautiful girl monkey choking. Not skipping a beat, not even to unclench the sandwich from his teeth, he ran over to the girl and performed the Heimlich Maneuver. He surged his energy into saving this young lady’s life. Finally a piece of ham shot out of her throat, and she gasped for air. She turned around and saw her saver. Petey smiled. She smiled. She said, “Thank you so much for saving my life. You are my hero.” Petey’s smile faded as he noticed that the roast beef sandwich he was eating was lodged in his own throat while he was performing the Heimlich Maneuver earlier. He waved his hands to get the girl’s attention. “What is it?” she asked. Petey made many gestures to say that he was choking, but they were all in vain. “I have to go back to work, but here is my number.” She slipped her card in his pocket, as he tried to use the Maneuver on himself. She walked away. With his last breath, Petey clutched to his last hope, the soda, but due to lack of oxygen, his hand-eye coordination was terrible and he poured it on his eyes instead. So in glorious virtue, Petey passed out.

Moral: Some heroes suck.

The Allengator
Tags: tsoptm
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