By The Allengator
Petey the Monkey was bored. "What do most people do when they are bored on a hot summer day?" He asked himself. "I know! They go to the beach!" Petey jumped into his jalopy and drove himself to the nearest beach. As he was walking toward the beach, a guy asked him "would you like to buy some designer sunglasses?" Petey thought "Why not? It might get girls to notice me." He paid the man $75 and walked off the a high sand dune. He applied sun tan lotion on, as the sun's rays were especially strong that day. A girl walks up to Petey and asks him, "Are those Pokey Glasses?" "Sure are!" said Petey. "They are soooo adorable!" Petey smiled at her compliment. He said "Why don't you join me over here and we can watch the landscape together, then take a dip in the water." "Sounds like a plan" She said. She walked off to get her towel and items. Petey looked at the sun through his glasses. "Man, coming to the beach was the right idea." As he was staring out at the beautiful scenery, things started to get dim. Petey looked, but saw no clouds, just the very bright sun. The more he looked at it, the darker things got. Soon, he was blinded, and his eyes were starting to burn. The girl came back and said, "Missed me?" Petey was touching the ground for her, and touched her. With his eyesight gone, eyes burning, he didn't notice that he was touching her gluteus maximus. She screamed, hit him with her kung fu karate chop, and walked away, letting his corpse lie and his fake glasses fry his brain. The man who sold him the glasses took them and said "Another pair of magnifying frames sold. Burns eyes like ants."
Moral: Never look directly at the sun.