I don't know, but lately, I have just felt like something major is going to happen. Like a premonition I guess. I don't know why, I just feel that way. I guess lately, even though I'm still on vacation, I just feel like I am being stuck inside a room whose walls are closing in. I just do not know why I feel this way. Maybe I do.
I feel like in some ways, that I am living a lie. I am not saying that I have been lying to people or something, but I just feel like that I may not be expressing my full feelings. Sometimes, its like I keep secrets from people. I guess I do it because I don't want to hurt anyone. I am not saying that my secrets are mean or rude, but that it could really make some non-happiness abound.
Yeah, none of this makes sense to anyone, I doubt if anyone know what I am talking about, because I kinda don't know what I am talking about either. I guess I am writing this to say that I need to be more honest with people than I am now. Its like I am living with guilt, but having nothing to feel guilty about. I hate that!
I think the next few days will tell their story, but I really should think about what I need, instead of what I want. I have to put about half a million things on the back burner soon, but I don't want to be scalded. I know one thing that has to be done. I must get rid of fear. I am posting a private entry about something that best not be put on here, but I need to figure things out.
In closing, I'm pretty screwed up! Um......enjoy......bananas.....and root beer......
No clue why I said that, or anything else for that matter. Don't worry about me at all. I'll be fine before you know it, or as fine as I get anymore.
Anywho, best be off!
The Allengator
