Allen (allengator86) wrote,

Chrsitmas 2006 Entry (Kleenexes Sold Seperately)

I really wanted to write an entry yesterday (stupid xanga east coast time, grr....) but it looks like this will be my Christmassy blog entry. First, I want to go through the non-Christmassy junk, then move on to the Christmassy junk, and keep in consise, but without losing the feeling, ya know? Let's see how I do.

Yesterday. I will not mention work. If I didn't need money, I wouldn't be there, but it hit me that I can always go back to Stupid Fresh for the SAME PAY starting in January, but I don't want to risk me getting stuck with the 5 am cleaning job again, plus I like the Wall*Mart gig with the perks and junk. 10% off coms in handy now and then.

My cousin Becky stopped by and played the Wii for a spell. She liked it so much that she worked up a sweat. She is the closest gamer person in my family aside from me, but she kinda creeps me out. She's also coming over tomorrow, but my Aunt and Husband (not the father to my cousins, so I refer to him as "husband", because "step-uncle" seems to cumbersome to say, nothing against him, he's pretty cool too) are coming too, plus the original uncle, known as Jon, is spending lunch time here too. He's mildly creepy as well, with

The Wii will probably be the centerpiece of entertainment tomorrow. I'm so proud of my little baby!

Church note #1: Attention all people of Marshfield. The Brentwood Church of Christ is getting a full-time preacher starting this spring! Daniel Duvall will be preaching about 3 out of 4 weekends a month. I really like him, so I am pretty excited! Plus, he is going to OTC as well next fall, though I won't be around, due to graduating and stuff.

Church note #2: People are working on the upstairs now! Weird. We might try moving up there again, hopefully itll happen this time!

Church note #3: I am giving my first sermon next week on the 31st during the evening service. I hope I have my speech correct! The first of hopefully many in the future. We shall see.

A sad thought popped in my head. I heard how many people we are having over tomorrow, and I thought "wow, Miss Kitty will be hiding out for a week", then I remembered that she died, and it was sad :(. Its ok because my mom is prodding my dad for a new cat, lol.

Ok, Christmassy stuff now. Tomorrow, we are having family over for the first time in forever. Usually its just the four of us, but this year we are having my Aunt, Husband, Becky, and Jon over, and maybe others? But it will be nice seeing them and talking with my Aunt, but her and my mom usually talks among themselves. I'm excited about Christmas for once. :)

And now I want to share a personal experiance to close this entry. This is probably one of the most personal things I have shared with anyone, and whoever reads this first will be the first to know. I know I do not spend as much time being sentimental, especially looking at the olden days, but this is something I think is proof enough that good is out there, and why we need it.

As you may have read on my previous entry, I was very frusterated, to the point of severe anger yesterday. I tried my hardest not to be, but sometimes your hardest is not enough. I worked on my sermon inbetween shifts, and during that time, I read words that were comforting to me, that soothed my soul. I can not remember any specific passages, but it was heartwarming and humbling. No, I am not saying that I celebrate Christmas as most Christians do, the birth of Jesus, but rather, I spend these days on traditions and family. The whole "Christ is in the word Chrismas/reason for the seaon" debate is not one I want to post on here, but I would be happy to discuss it with anyone who wants to. Anyways, the Bible gives me strength and hope every time I open its inspired pages. From the travels of faithful Abraham, to the cruel crucifixtion of the Christ, to the trials of Paul, to the last letter of Revelation. It makes me feel good, even if it is just for those few minutes. Sorry, completely digressing there.

I went back to work later that day, and as the day went on, I grew more and more stressed, more and more tired, and more and more weak, getting ready to give into the realm of depression, mostly due to people just not understanding what I am there for and being thrown around like some ball that kids play with. It felt like the two hours I came in that morning were in vain, not worth my trouble. Suddenly towards the evening hours, I was drawn towards the grocery entrance of the door, and I saw Dave outside ringing the bell for the salvation army. I remembered then that I had a card to give to him, then I reached into my pocket to retrieve it, and a wad of cash came out, and honest truth, the amount was ironic. I am not posting how much it was, but it was symbolic in a way. So I took the cash, folded it up as discreetly as I could, had trouble, but finally got it in the pot (like 6 or 7 different bills) and handed Dave the card, wished him a merry Christmas, and went back inside to my duties. As I walked in, I felt a joyful aura in my soul. I felt good. I felt happy. Not the happy where you dance in the streets and throw snowballs at random people, but like somethingright was done. Why do I bother typing in this? It sounds like some ol' "Its a Wonderful Life" segment. Well, here is the truly ironic thing. The bills I pulled out, the total equalled the total pay of the hours I came in that morning, the hours I felt like I wasted, to the exact dollar. That is what I gave. It was like I knew what my purpose was for coming in that morning. It was like it was planned. It no longer felt like it was in vain. The magnitude of this revalation just hit me. It just felt like everything else was right. It made it feel like it was meant to happen. No, I still do not believe in fate, but I think someone with a higher authority knew what was going on. So a pretty terrible situation turned into a moment of calming peace. Beautiful, huh? The sad thing is that people just try to focus this stuff this time of year, but it should be year round. Sometimes I do go on about myself too much on here, but I think that more should be focused on others. It really should. I think that the process from being angry, to finding spiritual peace, to frustration and desperation, to peace is just what this time of year is supposed to remind us about.

Anyways, I rarely get sentimental on here, just because I don't want people mistaking this blog for the blog for "Starting Over" TV series....but its cool to do something every once in a while.

For my farewell, I hope that all the people reading this, friends, family, aquaintances to know that I wish you the best and most Merry Christmas, and that not only should it happen on this day, but many more from here on out.

May God Bless


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