Where could I start……before Erin and I started going out, for a short while. Being ignorant to the dating world, I always wondered why this thing called a “promise ring” was given. Was it more of a ritual? Was it symbolic? Well, I did not have a clue. Whenever someone got a promise ring though, it was news. Then, when the couple broke up, it would be news. Yeah, around here, people break up after the promise ring. Weird, huh? Well, if they break up, even because of the ring, then does it actually mean anything?
Several months ago Erin and I talked about this sort of thing, the promise ring. I told her how I felt, which was that I thought we were not ready for it yet (a little after our one year) and she agreed. We also talked about what it means, and I told her why she probably couldn’t get one. We concurred about this and we moved on.
A few months afterward, the topic came back, but it was mostly amongst her friends and such, and not necessarily about us. Her friend, Ashley, told me her Finger size, “just in case”.
Around August, she was going through some stuff. We kinda had a fight, mostly over the fact that I should be more open with her when I am troubled. I mean I was, because of some family issues, but after she opened my eyes, I realized I stumbled upon someone extremely special. The thought crossed my head about giving her a ring for our two year, pending other stuff. Then my life took a worse spin when work politics got the better of me, and while I didn’t tell her, it was her talking and everything that made me feel better. I mean she did not know exactly what happened, but she was still able to comfort me. This was around September.
Erin and I have always had a solid relationship. If one of us hurt, we could make ourselves feel better. We have been able to talk things out and if we had an argument, we could always work it out. We have talked about the future and what we want to do. We have said many times how we felt we were made for each other and how we think we are destined to be together.
She called me one night and the topic of promise rings came up, and I told her how I felt.
I did not sugarcoat how I felt. I told her I thought it was a physical representation of what we already know. As much as she talks about me, pretty much everyone knows about us and, its just material. I’m a guy, so sue me. She told me she understood it, and dropped it. Not sure how she felt about what I said, but I lingered on it for a long while. Was that how I actually felt, or was I covering my true fears, a fear that a ring would jinx our relationship. I also have this thing about promises, you know…..that’s mentioned on opendiary, so I won’t elaborate.
It hit me then and there. I reviewed why I dated her to begin with, why I would date someone to begin with. My main goal when dating someone is to find a potential mate I would want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Why was I dating Erin? Because I see her as a potential mate. Then I thought on our long conversations. Our future….and all of a sudden, again, it hit me. I truly love this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Quite an affirmation, huh? Well, I felt this, but I know I am still extremely uncomfortable with engagement and commitment, as well as some of our friends and family would be, I’m sure. So the logical choice was a promise ring. Screw the entire jinx thing. I was getting her a ring. She deserves it!
So I spent hours on end searching for the perfect one. It’s a simple two interlinking hearts ring with our respective birthstones on each one as well as our names etched into the band. It came several weeks later and it came into an octagonal black ring box. As soon as I opened it, I knew it was perfect, just like her.
I decided to give it to her a week before her birthday, before we went to the dance. I pulled her aside, where we had some relative privacy, and I was lost for words….so I just flashed it in front of her….”Oh my God…OH MY GOD…….oh my God” she kept on repeating….sheesh, some mantra…..and she started crying, and I held her head as she was…I guess thanking me in her own feminine way. She put it on and went inside…her makeup was kinda messed up, but she didn’t need it to begin with. I gave it to her so early, because I figured it would look good for the dance, and…..well, it was her birthday…..and well…..I guess she didn’t expect it. “A material representation of our love….” And so on.
She showed it off at the dance, and Amanda punched me and said “About time!” She’s had hers for a while. After the night passed, we went to my car and I talked to her about it, and she took it off and I finally officially put it on her finger. Inside, I knew this was right, the ring, but I also felt that we have entered the point of no return in our relationship, meaning that what we have done, where we are, is irreversible. I took her home, and her parents were cool with it btw.
The next night she called and we talked, then I told her what I basically just told you. Then I got all uncharacteristic. I have just made a commitment, gave a girl her dream gift, and went out to a dance. On top of all of that, I told her this. “This ring symbolizes my commitment and faith in our relationship. It should remind you that I will always love you, and that someone does, even when all seems lost. I will be there for you then, as I am now, until the day I can not fulfill that duty anymore. The ring means that we are pretty much exclusive and that we have claimed each other to spend the rest of our lives with each other in love, and that I will offer the person with the ring a courtship of holy matrimony, and that is my promise to her, and that is why it is our promise ring.”
This is probably the best fit phrase to end this entry with, how I ended my statement:
“And I never break a promise.”