Right now I am blaring some Aerosmith music in a lame attempt to create a barely cohesive entry on here. Unfortunately "Love in an Elevator" is not helping one iota, so I will change it to something with more intelligence in it. Let's try this group called Fastball. Anyways, my problem is never finishing what I start on here. I'm going to try to change that, because I need to find one part of my life worth finishing something. Wondering around looking for a job and companionship in a down economy and world full of....female dogs....gets me more depressed than anyone knows and this happens at least once a week if not more often. It ends up that I feel like doing less when I get depressed and the blog is one of the first to suffer. Another fun statistic is that when I am angered I tend to update my blog more. Maybe its therapy for the Hulk inside my...um...Hulk-ish figure.
There is a local convention that I want to go to because conventions seem like fun and I want to try one out before I hit the bigger ones in cities like Kansas City or St. Louis before I hit the motherload, ComicCon. Alright, the last may be a fantasy, but I want to find ways to nurture the nerd inside of me. Oddly enough, the girls in the bakery I work at (Yes, I am a lone man in an area of married women. Its like the drama of high school but with hairnets) are not very sympathetic to this side of me. Whenever someone says "I suppose" I have to go "IIIIII suppose *CLAP*" ala Rhythm Heaven, or when I reference anime, cartoons, or something that nerds would watch, like Eureka or Chuck. I get these looks that say "what planet are you from, Zargon?". I try to make them more cultured but they just don't understand. I try to get help from the two deli guys but one is more of a modern music/game snob and the other doesn't believe your a man unless you watch football. Like the emo teenager listening to Green Day, I walk alone.
Anyways, back to the convention. It is literally the only major thing happening in my life that I have been anticipating for months. Meeting others who are into anime, video games, manga. Heck, maybe I will get lucky and bond with a cosplayer. The only way I know whether I will like it is if I go, and I can't go if I'm not able to go due to some "YOU MUST WORK THE WEEKEND OR DIIIIE" clause enforced by my employer. Ok, maybe my manager just forgot to check my time off request that I've had in the system for over a month and all I have to do is talk to her and it will go all away. What do I tell her? "Hey, I planned on going to a commune of intelligent masses for a weekend." Do I lie? "There is an electronics expo that weekend that I need to go to." "My family is going on vacation to the Yukon." Do I be vague "I have an appointment that I've made for months." I will probably go with the last one, but I am a perpetual worrier who secretly fears unemployment and is terrified of those in authority that can fire me. I know I have nothing to worry about, but I have always been bad with talking to those in authority. Heck. Telling the guy who brought my soda that it was a Pepsi instead of a Dr. Pepper breaks me out in a rash.
But enough about that. I don't mean to bog you down with my insecurities on here. I'll admit, my main goal is to find some people who could be friends and I could hang out with. I have a couple of good friends who are all I need, but I would like someone who had closer interests to mine. Someone who wants to spend an entire night duking it out in Super Smash Bros or we try to snipe each other out in Call of Duty or Counter Strike. I had a friend like that but for whatever reason he sorta stopped talking to me. I had another friend who was a friend of him and all he seems to do is blow me off when we talk, so I need something more concrete than a "I'm too busy. We can talk later." I'm not high maintenance, but I think I don't ask for much.
But this convention is my best shot at finding a new friend or, heaven forbid, date. A chick cosplaying as Sun Seto or Medusa would drive my senses wild. Where else would someone openly admit their love for their hobbies if not at a convention. Sure, the Internet is nice, but I like face time too. I'm not a social butterfly by any stretch of the imagination, but I even want to meet people in a place that doesn't begin with a B and end in an AR. There is this one store that features board games, but I'm not much of a board gamer. I should check it out some day.
I have no earthly clue why I divulge all this information on here, but I just did, for all the world to see. Let it be known to every rock, cricket, and molecule of living creature that The Allengator, writer of this blog, lover of women, and who lives in the greater part of the Marshfield Missouri area that HE IS A NERD! What I need is to revert back to who I was 6 months ago. That Allen was AWESOME! He knew he had more to offer than grunt work at a international conglomerate. He knew if he put his mind to it, his dreams just may be possible. He knew to get his way he needed to push some. I need him back. Unfortunately, that breaks the nerd archetype, but whatever. We'll see if he resurfaces. We'll see...
Anywho, good to update this thing again. Sure needed it.