Allen (allengator86) wrote,

First Impressions of the Awkward Kind

We had some visitors at my church tonight. At my church, visitors are a big deal because 1) Our congregation is small and 2) It can be hard to find for people out of town. So hospitality is key with our group, and I try my best to introduce myself and make sure they have proper materials, like a song book and Bible. It was just one lady and she seemed nice.

The first thing I noticed is that she drove a nice white Jeep, but it looked vacant and a door was open. So being the nice young man that I am, I informed her that her car had an ajar door. She replied "Oh no! My daughter is in there." This is when I needed to shut up. I replied "Oh, it looked like there wasn't anyone in there. OH! Not that I was looking or anything....I mean it didn't look like anyone was in there. Um...I'm sorry." and like a dog that had been caught chewing on the television remote, I tucked my metaphorical tail between my legs and went to my usual spot in my pew. That is when the daughter came in and sat with her mother.

Of course it wouldn't be an interesting story if it stopped there. Oh no. I am a major sufferer of allergies, particularly ragweed which grows in fields out here in podunkerton. My nose was just dripping as much as it could and I had a nice stockpile of tissues at my disposal all day. When I sat down I noticed a nice mountain of used tissues was piling up, so to make things look nicer, I grabbed them and headed for the closest trash can. At my church, there are only two trash receptacles, one in the men's room and one in the women's room. So I went to the closest one, the men's room, but our speaker beat me to the punch, and I wasn't about to go in there after a know. No ventilation.

Our group is small, averaging about 8 people there, and only two are women who rarely are in the restroom. So I looked, all of them were out there, and headed towards the women's room. I reached for the handle and heard a *GASP*. The visiting lady looked aghast as I gripped the door handle. I figure she was disturbed by a man going in the women's restroom. "MY OTHER DAUGHTER IS IN THERE!" She exclaimed, with some slight horror on her face. I immediately let go of the door and repeated the mantra "I'm so sorry!" over and over and over. I thought about adding "I swear, I'm not a pervert!" but I'm sure I would have gotten some lip about the word "pervert" so I just tucked the rags in my pocket and went to my seat.

The used tissues seeped through my pants and started to drip, and I felt like the world was watching me mutate in horror. The rest of the service went without a hitch, but I wasted no time getting out of there, tail tucked between my legs, nose and pants dripping, without saying a word. Thankfully my mother made me feel better as she almost ran over one of the girls with our van.

Something tells me they won't be back for a very long time.

The Allengator
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