Allen (allengator86) wrote,

Probably My Third or so Best Memory of Work

One day I was just minding my own beeswax at work, just straightening up the shelves. Remember I work at super happy corporate international conglomerate mart + grocery. The sales portion of the store falls under two categories, general items and grocery items. I have worked there over four years and have enjoyed the general items section of the store immensely, when I got to work there. Groceries was never my interest or problem.

Anyways, I suck at straightening shelves. I have gorilla arms. I also have no idea where anything is, so when a customer asks me where or what an item is, I have to look at them like they are senile and just say "I dunno. I don't work here." I have found this method ineffective over time, so I try to help them, but almost always fail at it, still resulting in a mad customer, but at least I tried, dangit.

So I was straightening up these shelves, right? Suddenly, this very good looking girl comes my way, and her face is screaming "I need help now". After working in a place like this for some time, you can read faces well. She walks up to me, and I'm preparing for something tedious, like bread or beer.

She walks up to me and simply asks, "Where is the naked stuff?"

I froze in place. Naked stuff? What does that mean? We don't have an adult section of the store. We don't sell those kind of magazines. Is she coming on to me? Is she asking me to strip down so we can "produce" in the grocery section? Is this some kind of prank?

Then I got it.

"Do you mean bacon stuff? She gave me a weird look, tilted her head to one side and said, "No, the NAKED stuff". Now I'm all confused.

I think some more and more, then she added some rather helpful information.

"Its a fruit drink" she says. Oh! Now I know what she wants! She wants naked juice! It was just a wrongly telegraphed message from a semi-hot girl.

I smirked, dipped my head, and cooly said, "right next to the fuzzy navel".

The naked stuff is across from the fuzzy navel. Brilliant. No. Seriously. The dairy counter is across from the booze. I wouldn't make this up, would I?

And that was my third-ish best memory ever from my current job.

The Allengator

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