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Yes, I Get it. You Like the Word "Pink".
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
So I am looking over my last few entries on here, and all I read is angst, depression, angst, rant, Mega Media Monday, and angst. So this entry will be depriving of all of those, except the rant. I'm going to do one of my "crazy rants" so I'll be venting and you'll hopefully be chuckling, because we could all use some chuckles. Right? Right!

I have a newfound disgust with the word "pink".

Yes, there it is. Pink. What is so wrong with the word pink? Well, here is what I understand. The word pink is used to represent a certain hue of color that can be cool (hot pink) or boring ("white" human pink), or is an overrated rock star. That doesn't bother me unless you are painting your house hot pink. Sure, its a brand new idea at first, but it loses its novelty in about half an hour, and the 80's/90's will want it back.

Pink can be pretty or ugly, like any color. I like green, but pea/puke green is just putrid to my eyes. Some people missuse pink, like the U.K. with their logo for the 2012 summer olympics. Some places don't use pink at all, like those goth bars I hear so much about from television. However, it is not the color I have an issue with, rendering this paragraph moot.

My issue is with females in my age bracket wearing clothes with the word "pink" on their buttocks. I don't get it. Now if their pants were actually the color....oh, I don't know....PINK, then I could wrap my brain around it. But no, I see pink grey pants, pink green pants, and pink black hoodies.

So the next logical question is, "WHY"? Now, I remember there being a fad with printed words to appear on the butt region of pants, primarilly in female clothing. I had zero respect for it, because it's obviously supposed to make you look at someone's butt, or, in some cases, lack of. It's disrespectful and makes you look more like an exhibitionist than a "kewl girl". Then they started to appear on GUYS pants, and then the fad crashed worse than a train leaving Los Angelis at 4:03 pm heading northeast at 72 mph and a train leaving Deluth going southwest at 6:24 pm going 43 mph. However, after my initial excitement of the fad dying, I realized that one word still reamains. Pink.

Now, I already label you as a person of relatively low IQ based on your clothing's text, assuming that it shows the hardest word you know, but why pink of all names, especially when said article of clothing IS NOT PINK?

After doing some embarassing research on Google (trademark, copyright, restricted, picky) I found the culprit, and the answer may not suprise you. The place where these form fitting jogging pants with the misplaced word "pink" is coming from: The brilliant and clean minds of Victoria's Secret. This is why I didn't know about the origins, since I never go into Victoria's Secret. So now this raises a bigger issue, and I think we all know where I am going with this.

Now that I know where you get this boggling clothing, this means that you must be a frequent at a place that advertises women in unmistakably provocative poses, that tries to sell your body. So....what profession are you in? I won't say it outloud, but you are one step closer to being a p_____tute. That is my assumption for overly compulsive shoppers at the secret. Now, this isn't to label every shopper there or people who buys normal lingere, but people who need to get new ones every other day? Yeah, that bothers me.

So in short, STOP WEARING CLOTHES WITH PRINTING ON THE BUTT, ESPECIALLY ONES THAT SAY "PINK". This doesn't mean I am opposed to undergarments having words, since they aren't normally exposed for the general public, but think about it. If you have a girlfriend who insists on wearing these clothes most of the time, then you need to sit back and ask her why. Those clothes are designed to bring attention to love-deprived males and if she needs attention from other men other than yourself.....just think about it.

My suggestion for a new butt text: *This space was intentionally left blank*.

The Allengator