Allen (allengator86) wrote,

Inside Myself a Few Years Ago

I like you. I've liked you for a long time. I don't know why, but we have some kind of connection. Sometimes I feel that the line between friendship and love can be blurred, and I've learned in my life that sometimes you need to realize the difference.

But why do I look forward to seeing you? Why does my face feel flush when I catch sight of you? I can't think of anyone else who has that effect on me. Sometimes my life feels like a void of dull blackness, but knowing that I may see you makes it all better, and it makes me feel more complete in every way.

Maybe its the fact that our lives intertwine so much, that we have a lot in common, and that you have this way of speaking to me that no one else can do. I know that if something were to happen to me, that you would be there to comfort me and just knowing that makes the world a warmer place.

You tell me that you too feel alone in this world, that you wished someone would take stock in your life and be the person you always dreamed about. Looking off into the distance, I can't help but feel the same, and knowing this, my hope is that we could be the thing that fills the void in our lives. We are in the same boat, and the boat is heading in that same distance that I looked into myself.

After looking into myself, the person who completes me the most is you. I looked into my soul, and I can see your face. I'm afraid of losing that feeling more than anything, because losing that would make me feel incomplete. I wonder, do you feel the same?

In the end, it was just friendship. You told me you had some other guy who best completed your life at the time. I go back to being incomplete, an empty vessel full of nothing. I learned that the lines of friendship and love should never be blurred, because all it creates is chaos.

Perhaps you will hear more of my story later?

The Allengator

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