February 24th, 2010

Ice King, Adventure Time

The Life of Andrew McKinney

So I was dressed up real nice for a presentation at my college yesterday, you know, slacks, button up shirt, tie, small bag for papers and minilappy. Very professional looking.

Anyways, I had my usual 10-15 minute trek to class and along the way a younger kid came up to me and asked "are you a teacher?" Now, most kids like to do this thing called "punk'd-ing" and I figured he was just pulling my leg. So I did the reasonable thing and said "Yes. Yes I am. My name is Andrew McKinney."

"What do you teach?"

"I teach psychology."

"That's so neat. I've always been interested in psychology. What classes do you teach?"

"I only teach one intro class a semester around my regular job as a psychologist."

"Do you work in town?"

"No, I actually live in a town about 20 miles from here. That is also why I only teach one class here. Its tough on my gas mileage."

"So do you have many patients."

This was about the time I started to realize this kid was either pulling my leg or wasn't playing with a full deck. My brain was saying "ABORT! ABORT!" but I wanted to see how long I can do this charade.


"So what is intro to psychology like?"

"Well, we do several mind exercises in my class. We look at different parts of the brain and see how we can exploit them. Did you know we only use 10% of our brains?"

"Whoa....that is so interesting. I always thought we used our whole brains."

"Not an issue for you either way" I thought. "Yes. If we tap into the other 90%, then we would have untold knowledge of the universe."

"Wow. Is there a way to do that?"

"Scientists have not found a way yet, but that doesn't mean that it will never happen. They have mapped out the entire brain and have found things that make us tick, but they have not figured out how to tap into the 90%."

"Wait." the kid paused. "If we only use 10% of our brains, then how could scientists have mapped out the entire thing."

"PANIC! PANIC!" my brain yelled. I was very much in danger of letting my secret slip. I needed to come up with a proper excuse..."

"Our brain has layers like an onion. The 10% is the surface layer of our brain. The 90% is buried underneath that."

"Whoa. That is so interesting. I think I may take a psychology class next semester. Will you be teaching?"

"I don't know when or if I will be. Gas prices are high and this job is kind of out of the way. I'll leave you with a brain exercise however. Write a list of 5 good attributes and 5 bad attributes, then think of people you know and assign them to each atttribute. For each positive one, go to the person and enforce that attribute. For every bad attribute, point it out to the person and help them overcome this. For example, someone once told me that I am bad at deception, so I am working hard on that."

"Cool! That is a great idea! I'm going to get on that." The guy didn't even get my hint in my "exercise".

This is normally where I say "I'm worried about the future of America and whatnot" but I think I may be a positive influence. Here was an art major who may end up being happier as a psychology major in the long run. I just helped him get there.

How do I know he was an art major? He didn't tell me, I just assumed. Only art majors are as gullible as he was.

The Allengator