June 23rd, 2006

Lost Cast

I Know Where I Am!

Ok, I know you have been waiting on me telling you where I am going to be in the Stupidcenter. I am oging to be (well, unless I don't like it XD):

IN HOME FURNITURE!!!!!!!

So if you need help with furniture please hesitate to find me, because I would rather nap or something......

No assembling, just stocking and handling customer questions. My sister told me it was one of the places she wanted to work, so I guess its good. I told them I wasn't available on Wednesdays and Sundays.....I REALLY hope they follow through on that....Ok, I Pray.

Speaking of sisters, Right now she is going ballistic over Yogi the Bear. "Why?" do you ask. Well, she is freaked out that Yogi has a friend named Boo Boo. Ok, she is not feaked out by the name, but by his NICKNAME. Yogi calls him "Boob". Yeah. Look it up. His nickname is actually Boob. Sad. She was saying how Yogi says "Come on, Boob", or "Theres my little boob now." and lets not forget "My Boob is missing."

Ok, thats enough boob tube talk. Now on to important stuff.

I guess I probably won't be going to Osage BEach tomorrow, so I guess it's a free day. So now I need to make plans for my newfound time.

1) Sleep in
2) Work on the Website
3) Find out what everyone else is doing
4) Be bored
5) Watch more tv shows on dvd like "Three's Company" and "The Cosby Show"
6) Be bored some more
7) Try to get the "boob" discussion out of my head

Well, thats quite the list. So if you can excuse me, there is a workplace that would appreciate my presence....yeah.....

CONFORM! DRINK VAULT!

The Allengator
Motivation

Rules For Band Ensembles

1. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
2. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.
3. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
4. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
5. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
6. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
7. Take your time turning pages.
8. Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
9. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
10. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
11. Everyone should play the same piece.
12. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
13. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
14. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
15. Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
16. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
17. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.

The Allengator