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'Gator? I hardly knew her!

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Maybe Trying is Too Hard?
Ice King, Adventure Time
Rant time. I think this will be it, as I really don't give two flips anymore. This note is a little harsh, and I apologize in advance, but it seems as if nothing else is getting through to people. I will just not talk about it as much as I have anymore, because I know you don't want to read some post-teen angst on here anymore than I want to type it. This note is also not directed to every "friend" on Facebook, as some of you I see as colleges, teachers, and people I like to share links with. This is more or less directed to people I dialogue with on a more personal level, which is still a lot of people, but not everyone. Again, sorry, but this is what you get when you leave me alone to think by myself with no one to talk to. Let the real rant begin.

Right now I think I am feeling better, and I hate to say it, but none of my friends that I've previously counted on helped me out when I really needed it, so thanks. I'll remember to return the favor. Ok, so maybe I am still kinda hurt, but I yelled at someone yesterday, which I feel bad about now (even though she laughed at me. Odd woman), but I also feel better, I just wish I didn't need to yell to get my point across.

I take that back, a friend did help me, but its someone who doesn't read my blog or am connected with on the Internet. I think he knew something was wrong, and maybe I misjudged him. We are old friends, and we know when the other is not well, and we help out the best we can. We talked, and he actually had me smile for the first time in about a week. I'm keeping this in mind. I really needed someone to talk to, but no one else did or even attempted.

Let me just say this. If you have someone who considers you to be a friend, who is clearly hurting, almost begging for you to talk to him, and your there, and basically ignore him, or if you are too tied up in your own little perfect world to even just say, "Yo, I'm here for you.", or "Talk to me", which takes less than a minute with modern day conveniences, pass him by without even a hello, or take time out to comment on someone else's notes or status, then I don't know what to say to you, or if I want to say anything. If my little tantrums are too much for you to handle, and ones this bad are few and far between, then get out of my life.

What truly bothers me is that I try my hardest when someone is hurting to help. If I just say, "Hey, I'm here for you" and nothing comes out, I can say I at least tried, and trust me, I do it more than people give me credit for. Something that small or simple would at least acknowledge that I care and want to help. That's what a friend does. If you don't help affirm this, especially when a friend is in need, then you're going to lose that person in your life quickly, if you haven't already.

I'm sorry about all the drama I've been posting on here as of late. Truth be told, I'm tired of being miserable, but no one except that one friend has helped. If you feel a twinge of guilt or think this note is directed to you, then do something before its too late. I'm tired of starting conversations and just going to people. Every once in a while I need them to come to me, to prove they are a friend. Be warned that if you try something now, that I will bring up this rant. I'm sorry, but I can't make it easy, but if you are a true friend, then it shouldn't be a problem.

The anger has gone down, and I am back to more of a relaxed state or normalcy for myself, but I am most definitely not the same and probably never will be again. Maybe its a part of growing up, or maybe I am being a little melodramatic, but the past week has just proven to me how much people are self-centered and that most of humanity is too cruel for their own good. I used to think differently, but not anymore.


The Allengator

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I'm sorry I haven't been availble much lately. It makes me sad to hear that you feel no one cares. You can always talk to me, and there are several ways of contacting me. Sometimes online just isn't the best for me. Never feel that you cannot come to me to talk, I will try to help you as much as possible, and if I can't then I can at least listen! :0)

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