This time it has all to do with work. I'm feeling a sense of dread, depression, anger, and resentment. I have no clue what that would be called, but I was honestly a couple of inches away from biting heads off of people. You know its bad when everyone and their mother comes by and tells you how sorry or bad they feel for you when certain events arise.
Sure, I mean some good-natured ribbing, I'm all for that. If they mean it as a joke, that's cool. If its just one person, I assume they have some sort of crazed vendetta against the person. However, when its pretty much everyone, totally being serious, giving you horror stories that make you wish you could travel back in time to get an ear amputation to keep from hearing it, then you know you're screwed.
What kills me is that I don't know what is going to happen. I may say that things aren't much different. I may declare war on everything. It could be something nicer. It could be a complete and utter disaster. I don't know. I am trying to be positive. I am trying to see the good things, but whenever I do, it seems like someone shoots me down and reminds me of how much suckage I will have to endure.
I honestly do not know what is killing me the most, the way people are reacting, managerial fate, or the fact that my optimism never had a chance. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I need to change, that I need to get out of furniture or WallMart altogether. I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care. Just please quit talking to me if all you're going to do is remind me of the "bad" situation I'm in. If all you are doing is pointing that out, then its equivalent to telling someone they are sinking in quicksand when the quicksand is up to their neck. They think, "no duh", but still hope for rescue. I guess humanity would rather watch a catastrophe than do something to prevent it.
Also, I would like to apologize to any readers out there. I know this blog has been pretty angsty lately, but life is like that. I can't swear it'll be much better, but I will try everything I can to at least not repeat myself. The rest of my life is pretty ok right now (the reason for few updates is because I am a little busier than normal offline).
Tonight was just another major blow to the eternal optimist inside of me. I hope you recover, little guy.