Allen (allengator86) wrote,

LiveJournal Writer's Block 2: More Incomprehensible Questions

Every once in a while LiveJournal comes up with writer's block questions, and sometimes I question their motives therein. I will attempt to answer as many as I can, and mind you, I am not making any of these up. These are serious questions people think you can blog about....

Everyone knows having a crush at the office or in class can make the time pass a little bit quicker. Is it better to keep your crush a secret or tell them how you feel?

Answer: I would keep it secret because, you know, drinking soda at a computer workstation is against the rules.

When it comes to making a difference, some people donate money and others volunteer their time. What cause gets your time or money?

Answer: The "Allengator sits on his butt and plays videogames fund". I am not only the president, I'm also a contributor!

Imagine a world without Star Trek. Is it a world you'd be very happy to live in, or a dark and terrible place?

Answer: I never watched Star Trek, so I would imagine it'd be the same world that we live in now.

'Tis the season for scary movies. Some rank The Evil Dead as the best horror film of all time. What is your favorite scary movie?

Answer: White Chicks

The World Series begins today, meaning balls will be hit, bases run, and homeruns scored. Remember the first time you got to first base? What was it like?

Answer: It felt good, because I kicked that ball so far into the outfield that they had to run to get it. Now sure, I fell on my tailbone but.....

Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster, el chupacabra—what is your favorite creature that may or may not exist?

Answer: Unicorns!!!! <3 *wink*

30 Rock returns to television today. Should Tina Fey's striking resemblance to Gov. Palin become part of this season's storyline?


Happy birthday, Internet! The Internet, of course, has changed many things for the good. But is it all good? What is the biggest problem the Internet has created for you or the world?

Answer: The Internet is addictive, and I need my daily 6-8 hours of it.

Everyone enjoys a ghost story. Or at least knows one. What is the scariest ghost story you've ever heard?

Answer: The one where the ghost found out he wasn't a ghost, but he was actually human!

With Halloween on the horizon, burning questions about the undead need to be answered: Can being a zombie be considered suffering?

Answer: I don't know. Can he hang ten? Oh, wait, SufFering.....IDK.

Prying eyes are everywhere, from pesky younger siblings to the Patriot Act. What steps do you take to protect your privacy, on or offline?

Answer: I use a clever nickname that may or may not be a pun!

We have to ask: What are you going to be for Halloween this year? And can we see a picture?

Answer: I wasn't allowed to dress up at work this year, because wearing in dress code uniform is its own costume.

NaNoWriMo starts today. Give us a one-sentence description of the novel you plan to write.

Answer: The Epic Saga of Petey the Monkey. Coming out when pigs stay airborn!

As the Northern hemisphere spins toward the shortest day of the year, it's getting dark earlier and earlier. What comforts do you fall back on when the days are short and the nights are long?

Answer: The fact that daylight savings time is over and we get an extra hour of sleep!

November is National Beard Month. Muttonchops, Van Dyke, goatee, soul patch, ZZ Top–style—tell us about your own wild and woolly facial fuzz. Even better, post a picture.

Answer: Didn't you JUST ask me about identity theft? Hmmmm...

It's hard to ignore the fact that today is Election Day in the U.S. If you went to the polls today, tell us what it was like. Long line? Free stickers? Hanging chads? We want the details.

Answer: The Sequoia machines being hacked into and making Mickey Mouse the next president.

Now that the election is over, we can get to the important stuff. Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not in the freezer?

Answer: Our freezer has a light, so.....

One of the highlights of going to a literary festival is hearing authors read from their own works. What author, living or dead, would you most like to hear read?

Answer: Mark Twain of J.D. Salinger. I think they have interesting insights.

It's the anniversary of the Russian Revolution, marking the Marxist overthrow of the Russian government. Karl Marx once wrote that "religion is the opium of the people." What is the new opium of the people?

Answer: Uh....opium?

Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, and Vlad the Impaler, the original Dracula, have the same birthday. Coincidence?

Answer: Uh, Halloween was over a week ago......

Whether it's a canary in the coal mine or a waitress in the weeds, idiomatic expressions can sometimes stump us even in our own language. What common expression puzzles you the most?

Answer: Beat a Dead Horse. I mean seriously, how do you beat a dead horse? What good does it do you? THESE ARE QUESTIONS NO ONE IS ANSWERING? These are also questions LiveJournal isn't asking.

A lot of characters in kids' books have it pretty good, from calling the start of the wild rumpus to ordering room service from their hotel suite. If you could be any character from children's literature, who would you be?

Answer: Winnie the Pooh. I have always secretly idolized him!

Field mice always sleep facing northwest. Kangaroos can't walk backwards. Female hyenas have penises. Let's face it, nature is weird. What's the strangest thing you know about the animal kingdom?

Answer: Duck-billed Platypus. I mean seriously, man. Those things just DON'T look natural.

From shooting stars to stray eyelashes, there are a lot of ways to make a wish. What's your preferred method for asking favors from the universe?

Answer: I ask the mega computer, but the answer is always 42.

Kurt Vonnegut's books have great titles, like Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse Five. If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

Answer: The Life of Somebody You Will Never Know.

Some people spend their whole lives preparing the answer to this question: What albums are on your personal all-time Top 10 list?

Answer: Wow, an actual good question! Let's see here.

  1. The Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles
  2. A Night at the Opera - Queen
  3. Let it Snow Baby, Let it Reindeer - Relient K.
  4. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts CLub Band - The Beatles
  5. Straight Outta Lynwood - Weird Al
  6. The White Album - The Beatles
  7. Revolver - The Beatles
  8. Here We Stand - The Fratellis
  9. All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
  10. Soundtrack to The Muppet Show

Putting the laws of time and plausiblity aside, picture a battle between the megalodon (a prehistoric shark with a six-foot jaw span) and a giant squid (reported to be the size of a school bus). Who would win?

Answer: Chuck Norris.

One of the most popular gender stereotypes is that women ask for directions while men would rather be lost than ask for help. In your personal experience, does this stereotype hold true?

Answer: Not on The Amazing Race.

Today is the anniversary of Tricky Dick Nixon's famous "I am not a crook" statement. Let's take a moment to ponder the many politicians caught being naughty. What's your favorite political scandal?

Answer: The fact that many of our founding fathers that drafted the Constitution were slave owners.

Hospital dramas are a time-honored staple of television, from General Hospital to County General to Seattle Grace. Which TV hospital would you most want to check in to? And who would be your doctor?

Answer: None of them. I would be afraid of A) being humped B) being slapped C) being operated by a 10 year old D) being in the hands of incompetent people.

Goooooooooaaaaaaaaalllllll! Today marks the anniversary of football (soccer) star Pele's 1000th goal. Why has professional footie never caught on in the United States?

Answer: Because the states are full of "manly men" who prefer football, where you drive yourself to the enemy's base, past their defenses, and baseball, where you get to run home!

That helped my writer's block so much! Thanks LiveJournal! </sarcasm>

The Allengator
Tags: nbpm

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