Allen (allengator86) wrote,

Adventures in People Greeting

Sometimes I think I give people the wrong idea about Baal*Mart. I mean, I usually vent my frustrations about said place on here, without giving account of the better things about it. I guess its a good thing I'm not in politics. Anyways, I guess I could tell you what I did during the last half of my previous shift.

During my lunch break, one of the upfront leaders called me up there, and I called up and told then I was clocked out, so no dice. Anyways, I figured they called me to casheir like usual. They actually wanted me to people greet, which, considering this is the weekend before Independence day, I was more than happy to do, because people greeting is the one job where you practically just stand there and do nothing, and have it still being considered work. I prefer the grocery side, which, by dumb blind luck, I got. The only problem with people greeting is that it gets boring real quick, but not if you know how to pass the time.

So today's adventure is just that. How I passed the time today.

First, I looked over the redbox™©®¤ machine we just got to see the latest films that were being offered. Honestly, none really stood out as "OMG! I must get!!!", but that didn't stop me from staring at it for about half an hour. Time really flies when you look at Matthew Fox's visage.

After that, I played one of the crane games. I knew in my heart of hearts that those things are just begging for people to chuck in several dollars, but I wanted to try the stupid beanie creatures one. I plopped in a quarter, remember what I learned from the Wii and my crane chi class, and went after a legal eagle (Ok, maybe patriotic cardinal is more like it, but I thought legal eagle sounded rather epic). Unbelievibly, I got it on the first shot. So there I was, beanie creature of the world's most ungodly looking cardinal. Man, the customers must have thought I was SOOOOO mature. Anyways, I named him squakers.

Being the idiot I am, I went and tried the machine again. I mean 25¢ isn't bad for a beanie creature, so I decided to go after a rather freakish looking narwhal/unicorn thingie. It was reasonable buried in the machine, but that did not deter me. You would never believe it. I actually managed to get it too. Two ugly creatures for 50¢. Wow, that's like 25¢ each! Oh, wait a sec...

Anyways, I named the narwhal/unicorn Jabby. So I had Squakers and Jabby on display. I would like to take the time for whoever my future wife is that reads this, because she reads my whole archive because she loves me, that you should keep this in mind when we name the kids. Again, my nerd quotient was skyrocketing. A lady I work with walked up to me, and asked me if she could have one of the ungodly buggers. I told her she could have both. So I made an awesome deal, and now have no proof :(.

Now that my adreneline was running, I got mighty thirsty. I saw a water cooler in the cart area. Now, the water is for our illustrious cart pushers, but there was only one, and it was nighttime. There is no way a person could drink a whole freakin' container in one day. One problem though. There were no cups. I ask, what is the pointi n having a water cooler, BUT NO CUPS??? I digress. I think the cart pushers bring their own cups in. Ok, now I officially digress. So I had to come up with a way to drink water without using a cup, drink from the spigot, or use my hands. It was a good challenge for my imagination.

I first tried making a cup out of paper towels. It didn't work becasue for one, the cheap paper towels actually ABOSROBED the water. I did get a couple of drop in my mouth though! I got some on my pants. I hope no one thinks I had an "accident" when all it was was an accident. Next, I cut up an umbrella bag and made a faux cup. One problem was that it buckled down as soon as the water was put into it. Second, there was no good way for the water to come out. Despite this, I got more water than the paper towel paper cup.

Well, I was gettting thirsty, and neither method was working. I didn't want to degrade myself from drinking form the spigot. My McGyver instincs finally kicked in. I grabbed the "error code" notebook from the error code station, ripped out an extra page. How would they miss it? I then made a REAL paper cup, and it worked! I got my cup of water without degrading myself. As celebration, I got a second cup, which had slightly discolored water because the ink from the other side of the paper was bleeding through, but it was still refreshing.

After the water fiasco, I stood there and started singing songs by the Fratellis, minus the swears, in my head. Swears suck. Then I went through my J-pop collection.

Inbetween all of this, I also managed to make my watch glow in a dark closet, read a couple of the free manuals, managed to greet a couple of people, mess with the carts some, make labels, sing "Born to be Wild" whilst driving the motorized carts, and gave some stickers to some kids. Oh yeah, I might have smiled a time or two.

Suprisingly, the best part was that all of this was without the aid of caffeine! I only had water (if you count the "ink-ish" one as water), so I was happy for my extra energy.

With that being said, I am tired now, and will never do any of that again. Ok, I may do about all of it minus the water and beanie creatures thing, but listening to this is better than me complaining about work, right?


Oh, and plase don't worry about my mental state. I'll be out of Crazytown USA soon. But now I must sleep.

It will be a restful sleep, thank you.

The Allengator

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