by The Allengator
Petey was sitting on top of a hill one night. He was thinking about his past experiences in life. Suddenly, he realized that all of these experiences happened the same way.
He would start off sad, mad, or depressed, then would look for something to help soothe his sadness, anger, or depression. When he thinks he finds happiness, something would always happen and he would pass out. After all this time, he figured out how to not pass out anymore! All he had to do was not be happy!
He went through town and saw a pretty girl monkey who winked in his general direction. "No," thought Petey. "I must not let this girl make me happy." He walked on.
Petey then walked into the local Springdale's, and as he did, sirens went off. "Great, now what disaster is falling in my direction", thought Petey. "You are the millionth person to walk in here, so you have won a $20,000 shopping spree!" "No thanks", said Petey. "That will make me too happy". He walked out.
After several days of resisting temptations, he was back on the same hill at night. "I have resisted everything that would ever make me happy, and I'm still alive! ALIVE!!!!!" He screamed. Petey then saw a shooting star and made a wish. "I wish that no matter what, nothing will make me pass out anymore". He then felt something.
It was like a rush. He didn't pass out at all! Petey jumped for joy.
And while he was happy, he didn't realize that the shooting star was actually a meteorite hurtling towards the hill he was on. He got crushed by the impact and passed out.
Note from the author: There is ALWAYS something that will make him pass out.