I tried to form an idea of why I wasn't meeting any women who are interested in me, or why I wasn't finding any I am interested in. So I decided to take a nice long look at where I go, and places I could potentially meet women. This is what I discerned.
I realized that my whole collegiant academic career has been centered around what I like, which is electornics, computers, programming, web design, and the internet. I then came to the sad realization that women are not interested in such things around here, as evidenced by my classes.
I go to a technical college with no dorms, so parties are out of the question. I was thinking if I went to a real college, and lived in a real dorm, if I had the money, how many parties I would go to. I would'nt go to all of them, maybe less than half. I am sooooo social that way.
My programming/web design classes are dominated by the male persuasion. Yeah, there are women in there, but most are 30+ year old moms trying to make a bigger buck with night classes, who are married and too old for me. I knew 2 girls about my age in any of those classes. One was tolerating the class becasue it was required for her degree, and the other already has a guy, because she will not shut up about him. Outside of class, I never know who to talk to, so I just sit here and blog.
Most people would assume that work is a nice place to find a girl, but you are dead wrong. I have seen relationships come and go, and let me tell you, they are not pretty.
I look at this two ways. One, if I had a girlfriend at work, then my productivity would suffer, as I would want to be around her. I mean I get attached to women I date. Two, it would make me go to work on non-work days, which I loathe, even if I am just picking up my paycheck. Three is the awkwardness if we broke up. Not only would people at work would assume that one of us is a total douche, but being around her would be uncomfortable. So work is out of the question.
Ha ha ha! Yeah, as of now, my church averages 3 women a week, all who are at least 40 years old and happily married. It owuld be awesome to find a girl who is in the same faith as I, but it looks grim.
There was that one time I blogged about a few month back about me hanging with a group of kids at Dairy Queen. I will admit, there were a couple of girls there too. Pretty girls. Girls near my age. Sadly, though, I think they were attached to the guys that were there.
There was one girl, when we were talking about video games, tellinbg us that in her spare time, she played solitaire on her computer. The guys kind of poo-pooed that, but I gave a warm smile and said solitaire was a fun game to play, especially the spider vairety. She acknowledged my statement. She never come around, though, because she lives like 75 miles away, and I think is already attached. Ugh.
Have I mentioned on here how much I hate my hometown? It is a stupid white racist community that elederly people come to watch the rest of their lives away. If a minority comes into town, they should expect some hate. I hate that. Now I know that is a hasty generalization, but that is how it rubs off on me. I hate that I feel that about Marshtown, but I do. The other defining characteristic of the town is that there are no places to hang, except for Baal*Mart, which, again, as stated above, I hate going to on non-work days. No theaters. No real bookstores. No non-alcoholic bars. Nothing. Marshtown sucks, it really does.
As far as Springton is concerned, I did find out about a non-alcohohl and non-tobacco facility that I may check out. Aside from there, every other place has one or the other, both I can not stand. Smoking or drinking, to me, is a HUGE turn off. I will not date anyone who is actively doing either. That throws out most places in town.
There are no real conventions. No concerts, and even so, is like being around people who are having sex standing up. Bookstores are ok, but there is an expectation of being quiet in there. You can't just go up to a random woman and say, "Hey, what page are YOU on?" It just isn't natural.
Where else can I go? I can't think of any in this two-bit area. The mall is too crowded and busy. School is too male-dominated. Work is too weird. Anywhere else is hard to go to being by yourself. Maybe I should form a posse, like in the old days in high school, where I had the cliche I hung out with. I need one of those to go places with. Sadly, though, people my age are grown up and have jobs, so going somewhere is hard because none of our schedules work out.
I know God will provide me with someone, and I pray a lot for a companion in life. Someone to hold. Someone to love. I need patience. With summer coming, I will not have school to keep myself occupied, so I will probably fret some more about this and that. I act stabl aorund people so I do not show any weaknesses. I hate bringing my baggage to the door. I help other people out, but in the end, it seems like no one truly understands me. If they did, they would know that I am dying on the inside. Maybe that is why I am much more calmer and less random than I used to be. I have become boring.
Anyways, I am going to try to block out the ensuing depression that is hurtling towards me and work on my final project, then study and work on some homebrew stuff and the podcast. I thank you for reading, and please understand why I may seem bitter at times about relationships.
Yay! Web development!