Allen (allengator86) wrote,

The Bloggity Blog Blog Blog Feat. Sean Connery!

Since my life seems to be a smoldering wasteland of boringness, and I really need to update, I will share some comedic repetoire with you.

I mean this time of year is ruthless with nothing on tv (which will continure with the WGA on strike), websites down for the two weeks or so of holidays (even the Dojo is not updating next week), so that leaves a LOT of free time since there is no school for about another two and a half weeks.  

I guess I can work ahead on some DHTML and CSS for the web development class I have in the coming semester, but come on, I just want to know the fun stuff!  Games have just not been calling out to me.  Music has been transitioned from the holday selection to the ol' style it was before.  The only song special enough is "Auld Lang Syne", but we only have a couple of days left of that.  So what is a person to do?  Read a book?  Pshaw!  I CAN read lIterature, but that doesn't mean I WANT to.  Besides, I won't be able to read anything worthwhile within two weeks.  Too many distractions.  The only option I have is either watching DVDs or Youtubing, so I've been doing the latter.

Over the years I have had a LOT of suggestions of things to watch, but I decided, and somehow remembered, though not sure when I was told, to watch some skits from Saturday Night Live, a show I really never have liked due to the risque humor.  Yeah, there are some good jokes, but mostly, they're pretty yucky.  Yeah, call me a wimp,, whatever......

Anyways, there was plenty of that in the skits I watched, namely the "Celebrity Jeopardy" ones.  Let me set the stage:  Will Ferril os Alex Trebek, and some dude, not sure of his name, appears as Sean Connery in all but like 3 skits.  What is hilarious is that he just wants to be there to annoy Alex.  He claimed to have cut an album of dirty limericks just so he would be eligable to be in "Rock 'n Roll" Jeopardy.  Heh.  And after that, it is a slew of vulgarity, questioning of Alex's sexual preferances, and jokes about his mom from Connery.  While I will not be going into these jokes, I will name a few, highly censored for rating "G" blog-types, so don't worry.

Alex:  The board is yours Connery....
Sean:  I will take "Swords" for $200.
Alex:  Um, that says "'S' Words", Sean.....This is the type of man Popeye is, and keep in mind it starts with an "S", and is NOT a sword.
*Sean Connery rings in*
Alex:  Yes, Sean.
Sean:  Sabre!
Alex:  .......No........

Sean:  I will take "Months starting with Feb", Trebek.
Alex:  For how much?
Sean:  Suprise me you idiot!

Alex:  Show and Tell for $600.  I will show you and object, and you tell me what it is.
*Sean rings in*
Sean:  A guy with a mustache!
Alex:  No....I am not the object.  I have not even showed you the object yet.....*grabs hammer*  Name this object......
*Long pause with everyone looking confused.  The time over sound goes off*
Alex:  Come on, IT'S A FREAKIN' HAMMER!!!!!
Sean:  Come on, Trebek.  You wouldn't have known that if you didn't have your answer card in front of you!

Sean:  AHA!  The day is mine!  I'll take "The Rapists" for $200.
Alex:  Sean, that says "Therapists", not "The Rapists".
Sean:  NUTS!

Sean:  The game is afoot!  I'll take "Anal Bum Cover" for $800.
Alex:  It says "An Album Cover".....

Alex:  *Naming categories*  Colors ending in -urple.

Alex:  The Final Jeopardy category is:  Horsies.  Just tell me if horsies are pretty.  Yes or no.  There is NO wrong answer here.....

Alex:  For Final Jeopardy, the category is the alphabet.  Write a letter of the alphabet, like "A", or "G".
*Everyone starts writing like mad*
Alex:  There is no reason for you to be writing this long......

Alex:  The category is.....oh, come on!......Uh, the category is Famous Mothers.......
Sean:  HAHAHAHA!!!!  My day has come!!!!!!!!!
Alex:  *Rips up question* I will not give you the satisfaction......

That is all I have for now.  Have fun in your travels and such!

The Allengator

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