Allen (allengator86) wrote,

The Saga of Petey the Monkey - LJ 17

The Saga of Petey the Monkey - A Special Holiday Tale 

By The Allengator

Petey was happy for a change.  "This is the time of year when we should embrace our fellow man and try to understand one another.", said Petey.  He then figured out that the best way to show his love for mankind is to ask out the girl monkey that works in the department store as a cashier.  "I will buy a present and give it to her, to show my love for someone as a stranger as her."  

Petey went into McClutcheon's Department Megastoreapalooza on Christmas eve and saw a very fragrant and very expensive bottle of perfume by Timothy Slaves.  Timothy Slaves was only worn by the elitist and very fashionable.  It was the last bottle, and Petey said, "With this bottle of perfume, I will make this girl my own!".  The crowds were gathering at the registers and Petey was in line for the girl he wanted to go out with.

After waiting 24 minutes in line, it was finally Petey's turn to make his purchase.  He stammered and froze up as the system started playing, "Jingle Bells" by the Benny Goodman Orchestra.  He shivered, though he wasn't cold.  The crowd behind him grew more impatient and enraged at Petey's lack of putting an item on a belt.  He finally said, "All I want for Christmas......All I want.....a-all..............In the great words of Mariah Carey, All I want for Christmas is....", he was interrupted as a huge hand came crashing down as he was evidently dealing with a male checker who just replaced the girl monkey.  The crowd also trampled over his passed-out body and broke the very expensive Salves marked perfume.  "That'll be $231.67", muttered the cashier.

Moral:  For the love of Pete, DO NOT QUOTE MARIAH CARREY!!!!!!

The Allengator
Tags: tsoptm

  • Allen's Twetter

    One last Twet for the day. I took off the last layer of pants and underwear and put my jogging shorts on for sleepy time. Night everyone!

  • Allen's Twetter

    I love monkeys!

  • Allen's Twetter

    @BobMarley Your songs sound like a wailing hippie that is being killed by a grumbling acid tripper.

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