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Things to Not Talk About in Public
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
WARNING: While I do not use profanity, please acknowledge that I must use the word CON**M in here. If you are uncomfortable with that, join the crowd and wait for the next entry.

Dear Wall*Mart Shoppers (mostly men...),

Last night, I just happened to be in the pharmacy area, and I just so happened to be in the condom area, because it needed "straightening" per management. I hate touching boxed up ones, let alone...er....others people leave lying around furniture displays...........anywho, a guy and significant other/wife/girlfriend/whoever was with him, and they were talking about....things.....I figured to leave so they can talk in private, but this guy....he has the voice of a megaphone......I heard him talking about "pleasure" and "twisted", while, mind you, standing in front of the condoms. His wife had a voice just as bad, and mentioned how "tiny" his little WOOHOO is. Now, maybe its just me, but I would rather not know about a guy's WOOHOO. Well, I was literally getting ready to barf, due to the whole reading descriptions on boxes and hearing a couple discussing a guy's WOOHOO. THEN they started to talk about the body oil. I was two aisles away, when I usually do not hear people one aisle. They had loud voices that carried, I swear. They talked about "smoothness" and "how slick" certain types were, and once again, the word "pleasure" was overly used in a bad context. So people, please.....IF you have to shop for condoms, that is your OWN business. Do research or something BEFORE you come in, and if you have to talk about it, please be courteous enough and use a SIX INCH VOICE. I, let alone anyone else, would rather not know about your bedside manner. Please respect everone else's lunches.

Almost respectively,

Wall*Mart Employee Superstar

P.S. Phrases like "You know you like it" does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, make anything better. Just stop while you're still ahead....

Not based, but IS a true story.

The Allengator

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