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But Everyone Else Is Myspace-ing!
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
Vent time!

Not sure if I mentioned it on here before, but I really do not like myspace. I really don't. Yes, I do have a site on there, but I am not telling you what it is, because I do not want you to visit it. Why do I have one if I do not like it so much? Well, for some people, its the only way we contact each other. I keep asking them to email me, but alas, deaf ears. So why do I despise one of the biggest community sites on the internet? Lets break it down in what I like to call the "Seven Stupid Sins of Myspace".

1) New ways to be annoyed.

Yes, I am constantly bombarded by complete strangers on there. They ask me to add them as a friend. I put this statement in bold writing on my page. "Please do not ask to add you to my friends list unless I know you for real, as in the flesh." What do I get? People spamming my page. Wannabe models whose main word in their vocabulary is "Webcam". I deny and deny without reply, but the keep bothering me. Myspace is just one huge *rhymes with cut or bore*-fest. Seriously.

2) Sparklies.

My friends ask me to visit their sites so I can look at the results of their quizzes or whatever. I go to their site and lo and behold, there it is.....loading.......loading.....loading. Take Lurch's site for example. It takes FOREVER to load because he has like 20 videos on it. Unnecessary junk. Sparkly avatars. Quiz results. Picture slideshows. Pets. Games. Videos. Look, I have DSL, so I can't imagine what a dial-up person or *snicker* 28.8 kbps person has to go through.......

Child: Ok, I have a page loading, don't touch it. It should be finished loading 3 days from now.

3) Horrible Ads.

9/10 of the ads on myspace center around one word. Indecent. Women tugging on the seat of their pants. Lingere. Opening their mouths in seductive ways. Its sas that everytime I go on there, I feel like I am on an adult website, by ads alone, let alone #1's from happening. The other 1/10 ads? Horrible movies/tv events. Seriously. What's up with Borat?

4) Popularity contests.

I'm sure most people who read this know what "Top 8" stands for in myspaceland. Its sad. Like, I am included on only like 2 peoples top 8, and it makes me feel like crud. I love all the people on my top 8, but when I am not included, I feel bad. So let's take those people off my top 8. Then they are like "Wut's up with yo top 8, homie?" and I ask them the same. Flame wars ensue. You lose friends. Sure, they may not give a rip about you, but when you're not includedin their top 8, doesn't that make you feel like crap?

5) Stalkerware.

Worse than Louisiana, Texas, or Ohio, is myspace, and there are no real trackers on there, and if there are, who cares?

6) Bullitens, People too happy with

I must get more bullitens than spam, which is ironic because most bullitens are spam. I never read them, unless they apply to me, in which case should be emailed. Seriously. If my non replies are not obvious enough, maybe I should give you a bulliten and include this entry, but however that would be sinking to your level. Lose-lose situation. I do not care about quiz results, making wishes, or when I will fall in love. Please, don't make me go Nigerian on you.

7) Fakers

There are some certain people that I personally know that make fake myspaces of people. They put rude things and innappropriate jargon on there, soil that person's reputation, and even if the real person finds it, who cares? Those people will just make a new one. Plus, the stupid way to get them deleted is plain dumb. "Send a picture with your person in it as well as the site's address on it, and we will delete it". Ok, so this one can happen anywhere, but since I know people involved in this act, I couldn't leave it off this list. They did it to one kid, and now a guy at work. For shame.

So in conclusion, myspace can make some people act rudely, ignorant, and inappropriate, which are my three biggest irks, which is why I largely despise that site. So what if I have one? Does that make me a hypocrite? Even so, I do not preform any of the "Seven stupid sins of myspace" which I am not alone, but still. So if you ask me to join other sites, like hi5, friendster, facebook, even if I do sign up, expect a big "Nothin' Doin'" from me, because it just makes me upset.

I have no clue why I went on this rant. Just felt like it I guess. Anywho, hope your magical journeys across the internets are fun!

Until next time, I remain,

The Allengator

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I agree. MySpace should eat it. It inundates my computer with viruses, too, so I don't even use mine anymore--unless there is a desperate friend-saving mission I've been sent on.

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