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I Think "Resume" and "Read" Start with the Same Letter for a Reason
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
Whew, its been a while. I needed to dust off my blog on here. Its not that I didn't want to blog, its just that too much has been taking up what little free time I had before. Most of it is work and career related, and that's the topic of this post.

As I've mentioned on here numerous times, I'm seeking employment, and I've posted my resume and other associated material on the Internet. Its nothing major, but I posted one that I used for my competition (each contest required a one page resume). I included little things like "languages I can code in" and "technology experience" and "seeking a profession as a programmer or web developer". You know. Little hints. But you know what they say about certain people and them taking hints.

So I got contacted a couple days after I posted my resume, and I was excited. It was from America's largest supplemental insurance carrier that I can't specifically name on here for fear of getting my knees smashed in. I saw they had a posting for a developer so I was hoping against hope that it would be it. Then I thought "wait, that's a corporate job, and corporate is definitely NOT located down here." They were also very vague on the position I was being interviewed for, but I set up an appointment anyways.

Interview time came and I brought a portfolio filled with resumes, sources of recommendation from colleagues from my college classes and people I've shown off my technical prowess to, and example of code I have written. I went in and the guy said, "This interview is for sales".

And my heart sank 1,000 feet.

I am not a salesperson. Sure, I put "Sales Associate" on my resume, but that really means "Stocker" in work-speak. I don't push people to buy stuff. I think that turns them off, or at least turns me off. I don't like messing with people, or trying to make them purchase something I don't agree with. I can't lie to people and have a clean conscience. I just can't be a sales person. Its not in my blood. A big reason I went into programming was to isolate myself from interacting with people as much as possible. I know its not entirely avoidable, but its certainly a sight better than "Salesman".

So I forced myself through the interview. He started to notice that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't cut out to be a sales person. I tried my best to answer honestly and what he wanted to hear, but its insanely hard to convince someone that coding in HTML equates to selling someone supplemental insurance. I tried tactics and finding ways to make the methodology of coding to selling someone some crap I've never heard of. His body language made me uncomfortable.

Then he actually made a couple of underhanded swipes of my hobbies. He said that programming gets boring after a while and that there is nothing interesting after working in it for a few months. I kept my composure, but I could clearly see that we did not meet eye to eye.

After some more pleasantries, we parted ways and I vow to never go back to that place again, even if I get called for a return interview.

So I look at my resume, headlining "programming and web development". Right there in bolded and italicized text. In plain English. Guess what. I got an email from another guy wanting me to be a sales person.

This time I was tactful and said that it was not in my career field. I really wanted to call him an idiot and just say "read my freaking resume". But I made it crystal clear that I did not want a job in sales and that I was not suited for it in the least. I respectfully declined his offer and said that it concluded our business on the matter.

Then he called me.

Do you not read my things? Did you not read my email or read my resume? Do you take me for an incompetent fool? I said no to your offer and NO MEANS NO!

After doing some research on the company of the second guy, I found out they have absolutely no web presence, no Wikipedia, and I could not locate them in the Better Business Bureau. I think he might have been a scammer, but he probably was just a small operation.

Long story short, my job search is going nowhere fast and believe you me, I've tried everywhere I can think of. But, by golly, if you love selling random insurance or other junk, this is the time for you to find a job here in southwest Missouri!

But before you recruit me into your pyramid scheme, at least please try to read my resume before contacting me.

Please.

The Allengator

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