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Choosing Good Music Vs. Choosing Bad Music
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
Right, I know that there is a fine line between opinion and appropriateness, but sometimes you have to wonder about DJs and the music they choose. I think all my life has been surrounded by poor music choices at various events, and this past week has forced me to feel the need to say something. First is to prove a fact: DJs support stereotypes.

(For the sake of argument, let's lump band directors, orchestra leaders, and DJ's into the same group. Is it incorrect? Yes. But it beats repeating the list "band directors, orchestra leaders, probablysomethingi'llforgettoaddlater, and DJs". So let's assume that they can all be DJ's since they get to choose which songs are performed.)

Now I am not one to point the finger before pointing it at myself. Do I fit some stereotypes? Absolutely. I'm a geek who is into video games, anime, and J-pop. You can't get much more stereotypical than that. If I were to do some karaoke or something, I would probably do Still Alive from Portal, Ride on Shooting Star by the Pillows, and Hail to the Geek by the Deaf Pedestrians. If I had my own radio station, it would be branded as weird. I would choose music that would be considered rock, overall. Rock with occasional showtunes.

However, the difference with the radio and playing for an event is completely different. On the radio, people can turn you off. With an event, people will have to assault you to make you quit. Trust me, I've been to several events where people got close to that.

However, live events you really need to be careful of choosing a playlist. For example, at your aunt's wedding, you really shouldn't perform the song The Thunder Rolls. Raining Blood would probably also count as a no-no. Basically, any song that insinuated cheating, killing of spouses, or anything by Barry White is strictly off limits at a wedding. But guess what. You are almost over budget, so the only two people you can have perform for you are either your idiot kid brother or your cousin who can only play the spoons and accordion. As they say, in Heaven they give you a harp. In Hell they give you an accordion. So you have no choice but to go with the cheap DJ, and guess what is playing? The entire Kill Them All album by Metallica.

Sometimes there are funerals that get performances. Thriller would NOT be appropriate for a funeral, especially when people start dancing. Sitting up With the Dead would NOT be appropriate for a funeral. I know I'm repeating myself over and over, but I think someone needs to write down the rules for what can and can't be played at functions because they happen all the time.

After 9/11, we were having a Christmas party when in choir, and I brought my Christmas Comedy album featuring such hits like Jingle Cats and Deck the Stalls. One of the songs on said album was Christmas at Ground Zero. Remember after 9/11 it seemed you couldn't go a day without the news mentioning "Ground Zero", and here we were, some blond idiot wanting to play this song. Now, I think the song was awesome, but a voice in my head was shouting "INAPPROPRIATE!!!!" over and over and over. I told him not to play it. He did anyways, and some of the people looked offended. He was an idiot. I bet he would make an awesome DJ.

At my sister's college they have a replica of the car from the Beverly Hillbillies, and they are super proud of that. They also host a regional basketball tournament where states as far as Minnesota come to show off their basketball prowess. I live in Missouri, which is, stereotypically, redneck/hillbilly country, and a lot of us down here really want that to stop. Sure, we may never be refined like someone from Chicago, but I don't eat squirrel meat or desire to mate with a cousin. That's just wrong. But no. There is a national ball tournament, and guess which song was played not only at every single game, but before every single half? That's right, the theme song to the Beverly Hillbillies.

Which brings me to what got me prompted to write this thing out. While at Kansas City for a national tournament that focused on preparing to enter the workforce through professionalism and leadership, we had an opening and closing ceremony that can only be described at loud and live. There was a ton of energy, and the DJ was doing so so good. Sure, I didn't care for half the songs he chose, but kudos to the man for choosing such indie classics like Chelsea Dagger and hits like Thunderstruck. Bad Romance and Don't Stop Believin' blared on the speakers and I can't fault him for that. People liked that. There were people from New York to LA, from the Virgin Islands to freaking Guam, and it came time for the final song. This needed to be a song of epicness that would give us a great head start to the closing ceremony. Maybe something meaningful, or maybe something electric. I wanted to hear something from Space Jam, or maybe even something that Glee performed but by the original artist. Queen would have been epic.

But no.

Instead, we got this, which admittedly the people from Oklahoma, Texas, Tennessee, Missouri, and Arkansas liked, but other people kind of looked in horror.

Yes, at a national leadership and professionalism contest, they played this little gem.

During the entire song I yelled "EPIC FAIL! EPIC FAIL!" repeatedly while facepalming and doubling over in sheer horror while everyone around me was screaming the song.

So there, Missouri is nothing but a bunch of hillbilly rednecks. Are ya happy now, DJs?

The Allengator

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