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A Convoluted, But Real Excuse
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
I probably should have called in work today. Considering I wasn't originally scheduled to come in, it probably wouldn't have bothered them too much, but I came in anyhow, because that is how poor dedicated I am. Anyways, here is my "excuse".

I personally blame chicken nuggets.

Not just any chicken nuggets, but ones shaped like dinosaurs. See, everything was fine and dandy Sunday, and I was enjoying my lunch like usual, but these were Tyson dino nuggets. Processed chicken. Sometimes, I find a fractured, albeit very tiny, piece of bone in my nugget. That must have been the case.

Here is the deal.

The bone in the chicken must have chipped one of my bottom teeth toward the back of my mouth. The tooth now has an acute angle as its crown, and it is basically a sharp blade in my mouth. I tested it. It can make a hole in hard plastic casing. This blade is also in the vicinity of the belly of the bottom of my toungue. There has been no bleeding or pain as far as the tooth or gum is concerned, but the sharpness does stab at my tongue. This pain of my tongue has caused it to kind of bulge over, you know, like when you have a light scraps and skin bubbles up over it. Yeah, like that. That tongue irritation now causes me to have a lisp. I now sound like one of them.

So I was bitter today. My mom says with the way things are, it sounds like I need my wisdom teeth pulled. I don't want to do it. No, its not because of the pain or something silly like that. Its the money. It costs an arm and a leg for an uninsured person to get it pulled. Insurance costs money, and as we established, I have no money.

So I am hoping the sharp point will whittle down smoother and not irritate my tongue, so I don't have a lisp, so I don't have to go see the dentist. I mean yes, I know I will eventually have to go, but I want to save up some cash in the meantime for my inevitable visit.

So if I sound weird the next few days, ignore it.

Thanks.

The Allengator

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