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The D&D Saga 0.1 - Pre-Premptive Strike
Ice King, Adventure Time
allengator86
So last night I had a chance to talk to a couple of my friends in the parking lot of where I work at, and they spent about 20 minutes trying to convince me to give Dungeons and Dragons a shot. Here are some things about me that you may or may not know:

  • I don't care for rpg's, unless they star Mario or are not turn-based
  • I can't play MMORPG's because every one I have ever played is overly complicated.
  • Overall, I couldn't care less about storylines in most games. Especially if they are overly complicated.
  • If I have more than 10 stats or abilities, its too overwhelming.
  • As stated in an audio blog previously, my imagination sucks.


So yeah, never put much thought into D&D, but I told them I would try because A) They wouldn't let up and B) I'm bored and need to find something to do with my friends. So we met up at Brewer's (the awexome coffee shop) and they were already bringing materials and I was confused within five minutes of their explaination.

Though it didn't help that we made each other laugh every few minutes.

Anywho, I was just being annoying (more or less to get my mind off of work) and we finally got down to the nitty gritty. So I decided I would post my journey into the Role Playing monstrosity known as Dungeons and Dragons on here for everyone to scoff and laugh at my n00b-like abilities. Not only should you expect my thoughts on various things, but also keep you posted on the stories that come out of it.

One thing I will stress is that I am still not fully committed as of yet. I may try it a few times and be totally uninterested and just leave. It happens. I may turn into a fanatic ala anime. I have no clue as I am on the fence as we speak, but I figure I will attempt to clunkily explain what I can about what is going on, probably messing up characters along the way.

First of, in RL, the group as of now just consist of a couple of friends, Adam, who was my gym partner for lifetime sports, and Aaron, probably the guy I've known the longest outside my family. We joke and kid mostly, so we aren't going to make this a serious/mindblowingly epic story, but will make it more of a comedy/adventure if I understand right. There will be sombreroes and kitties, if I am not mistaken.

So Aarom is the Dungeon Master, or the guy who has to read out of a book and refferee the story. Adam is a Tarzan ripoff and a Dragon who hates sombreroes and wants to eat kittens. Aaron is also imcluding a character that has a kitten and deals with sombreroes, so you can imagine how out of the loop I feel.

I mentioned I could either be "the victim" or "a fairy", more like Tinkerbell and less like Navi, cause who wants to hear me say "HEY! LISTEN!" throughout the entirety of the game? Sadly, my dreams of becoming a fairy were blown away when I found out I could actually be something more useful.

There were three books: a general bestiary, a general guide, and a dungeon master's book. I saw some of the messed up pictures, and was even more saddened when I thought "Wow, someone got paid good money for all of this". I am just not an art connesuir. There was also a tube of dice that I could not get enough of. I love bones.

Then after we got the basics out of the way, which already blew my mind/confused me, we decided to create my character. Now most people know that when I play a game, I typically and am unimaginative enough to just put the character's name in it. For example, all of my main characters in the Zelda franchise are named "Link". My file in Mario games are "Mario". In RPG's, I always name my characters something generic, like Bob, Fred, or Sally. If I am feeling a bit wacky, I switch genders. In my current co-op game of "Secret of Mana" I play a girl whose name is Howard. Yes, I am funny.

Most names are weird in MMORPGs. You have Eldern, Mysorgyk, Groindeluge, Porpentuiar, leeroy jenkins, and bob_saget59. So I need some sort of non-ripped off name that sounds cool, but is easy to remember and pronounce. I threw out my "not ripped-off" notion out the window and went with "Kyon". Yes, my character is named Kyon. Again, my imagination is underdeveloped.

Then I had to choose my class. So many classes. I can't name them all, but there were some good ones, and then there were ones I wondered who in their right mind would ever choose. I know I didn't want to be a wizard. So I went with the warrior or soldier type, whatever its called, and went with "cleric". Good enough to battle, can heal others, and isn't called a fiary. My type of character. I bet I end up regretting it later.

Next I had to choose my Alignment. One was "Lawful Good" or Regular Good. I went with regular because I have no problem being an anarchist! Well, that and I already had a diety picked out. The name is "Bahamut". He is the God of honor or something. I remember honor, and that sounded epic to me. I bet I end up regretting it later.

Then I was told to make a background story. I am still crafting it up, but its going to be something totally not ripped off or related to my character's name whatsoever, hint hint.

Here is the story, which I bet I mangle up. Aaron's character that I don't remember the name of has a kingdom and he has some sort of human/dragon hybrid mistress. He also has obsidian armor. Soon she becomes old after living hundreds of years, and other kingdoms know about this. One dragon, which is one of Adam's characters, is retarded, and lives in that kingdom, but also wants to overthrow it. He also hates sombreroes and eats kittens. This is their creation and not mine.

Anyways, Aaron gets rid of his old hag and gets a slightly younger hag, and his kingdom is taken over or something. I think I forgot a vital step in there. Adam also has another character that is raised by flatulent bears and is totally not a ripoff of Tarzan. He speaks horribly broken Engrish and is taken into society. He has a weapon liken unto Wolverine of comic fame.

We will meet up at a tavern.

TO BE CONTINUED

I know I am missing some vital story points here, but that is what I cold get off of my notes, which read:

Me: Cleric
Name: Kyon
Deity: Bahamut
Alignment: Good
Background: Working on TOTALLY original idea.

Dragon taking over dragon kingdom. Aaron is obsidian. Adam is bearing Tarzan. Kingdom overthrown. Red dragon doesn't know where hoard is. Kidnapped. Patron. Mistress old hag. New mistress younger hag.

Meetup in tavern. Get drunk off our butts.

Quest is to defeat evil dragon that destroyed Aaron's crib.

Adam will be artist. Drawings expected to be stick figures.

Note: Aaron sucks.

See if you can formulate a story from that jargon. Thought so.

We have no idea how often or when we will meet up next, but we plan to soon, and you can bet I will comment on more things here. So until next time.

The Allengator

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