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Hey guys, its the Allengator here. Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you enjoy or are entertained by what you see here. I enjoy comments and discussions, so please drop me a comment. I appreciate every non-spam one I get.

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How Far Will I Go For Love? Evidently, a Trip to Pluto Would Be Faster
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86
I had not one, but two women recently talk to me online from ads I have on specific dating websites.  Yes, I am a lonely guy, and yes, I miss holding the sweet body of a lady, but I've had a couple of experiences lately that have made me think differently, not about sexuality or something like that, but how far I'm willing to go to find love, and what I am looking for.

The first one I will call "Seemingly Desperate Female", or SDF for short.  We were talking and making mention of the fact that I call myself a "flamboyant geek".  Soon, she started to talk about kinks.  Unfortunately, she was talking to the world's most oblivious guy and hit a wall of sorts. 

You see, I'm a virgin, and plan on being one until marriage.  I also know my weakness for temptation and realize that the way to keep me in check is to never learn about exact procedures or meanings of certain vocabulary terms until I am going to wed my wife.  Ignorance is truly the best invention since the light saber.  Don't get me wrong, I know about things that turn me on, and am looking around for various things that excite me, but I file that for future use instead of acting upon it.

So then I mentioned one of my turn-ons, and she immediately exploited it, majorly.  She told me if I would do a couple things for her, she would act out on my fantasies.  I was ecstatic, and thought about the possibilities, then I realized something.  I didn't really know a thing about her.  So I started to ask her some simple questions, like what she was doing with her life.  Where she saw herself several years from now.  SDF answered these in quick succession with a "please come over to my place ASAP" attached to the end.  Evidently, she knew everything she needed to know about me.  Then I asked her, "how soon do you want a relationship" and her answer was "NOW!!!!!!! VISIT ME EVERYDAY ASAP!!!".  Now I am not a genius, but there are some truths I know.  One, someone with pure motivations for love wouldn't be so forceful. Two, no woman in the history of women have ever come on that strong to me.  It just doesn't happen.  Three, I felt like something wasn't right.  So I did the thing that made sense.  I assumed that SDF was actually a dude who was trying to troll me, and told her I wanted more time to get to know her.  Evidently, that response was enough to make me non-existent.

After the disappearance of SDF, I had another response from a girl I will call "Normal Starving Lady".  We really hit it off.  After the mistake of SDF, I made sure to let her know that I was looking for a real relationship, but I needed to know the person first.  She agreed with me, and we talked for a few hours.  After a spell, we got into the topic of guess what, out turn-ons.  I told her mine, and she told me she was a virgin, but needed physical contact in the form of making out.  Now, I am not opposed to making out with a lady.  I used to with my ex long ago.  They were passionate times of raw romance that made me feel like I was important to someone, and that I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

NSL told me that she needed to feel that again, and asked me when I could come over.  I said "LOLWUT", but more respectfully, then asked her what her version of making out was.  Let's just say our definitions were pretty different. Hers involved some...hand work...while mine was just holding and kissing someone until you are out of breath.  I told her I didn't want to go beyond that, and she said she would try to live with that, and asked me if I could come over either tonight or the next day. 

Then a vision of George Bush came to me and said "Say Nope to Dope".  I told him that made no sense.  Then he corrected himself and said "Just say no".  Then a pair of Nikes came in and said "Just do it".  So here I was, being pulled by my animal lusts, and my love for catchy phrases from presidents.  I guess this was a parallel to my decision of physical attraction vs. respecting a person.  In the end I had to ask myself, how far do I want to go for love?

I looked inside my conscience, I thought about God, and I thought about cheese, because I was hungry.  Finally, I told her I couldn't do that, because it wasn't respectful to either of us.  She agreed we were heading for trouble, and that was the end of that.

So now here I am, I had two offers this past weekend to have my physical lingerings for the female body quenched after several years of nothing, and I rejected them both.  Some would say I'm a wimp.  Some would say I'm a gentleman.  I have no idea what this says about me as a person.  One thing I do know is that I have no fear of commitment.  In fact, I can't stand people who don't want to commit to anything.  It irritates me that a simple I Love You has more weight than coitus.  However, did I just run away because of my so-called morals, or was it because deep down inside, I'm scared?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to that one.  That will be my thought to ponder for the next little while.  Maybe I am seeking a relationship built on a connection, maybe a friendship, and a mutual respect for one another instead of a raw, physical, animal-like fulfillment.  Sure, I want both, but I realize that I favor the person over the acts.

If this makes any sense to anyone, let me know.  Am I crazy, or just merely ignorant?

The Allengator
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Want Tickets to the Gun Show? Well, I Don't Have Them
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86

I live in a rural part of Missouri that is mostly comprised of farms and octogenarians, so the main methods of education are Jesus, MFA, and Gun learning.  While the first two don't bother me, the last one does.  You see, I'm now 26, and I just shot a gun for the first time at a shooting range over a month ago.  I am clearly a disgrace to my native state who would be the last area on Earth to ever revoke the right to bear arms.  In fact, if it were up to the voters, I'm sure there would be a unanimous landslide to change the state motto to "The Sho-Me Your Gun State".  Tru fax.

My history with guns is quite sad, considering the above fact of my recent shooting spree.  When I was in Jr. High, we were required to take a mandatory hunter's safety course over a couple months.  I was in a class filled with "veterans" of the hunting business, some bragging that they have been hunting since they were "one years old", however that works.  Then again, I guess that is no different from me saying "I've played video games since I've had the motor controls to handle an NES controller, so about 3 years old.  I have pics.  Anyways, the mighty hunters were bragging because they were all licensed (We had to take the exam as part of our grade) and for once they were the experts on the subject while eggheads like me were completely and utterly hosed.

We took the exam weeks later, and I studied only a tiny part of my brain out, which was barely at all.  After all was said and done, I ended up with the highest score of 100% while the guys who have been doing this all their lives almost failed.  Actually, I take that back, I got over 100% because I found a discrepancy with one of the questions compared to the official manual.  Since I was known as "the guy who never went hunting", and I breezed the exam, I was one of the more loathed people in our Jr. High.  I got my hunting license, but never used it, and never shot a gun.  In fact, the only reason I took the exam was just for my grade and nothing more.

Fast forward a decade and a half, give or take, and I'm comfortable with not knowing how to disassemble a death machine.  I work at an IT company that is filled with individuals with the same tastes as mine.

Except that is a lie.

Again, I'm on the outside looking in.  Everyone there is a major gun enthusiast.  I am known as the "anime guy" because I'm the only one there who watches anime.  I don't talk about anime like they talk about guns though.  Seriously, all I have to say is "I saw a mag in a display case the other day" and the entire office erupts with several straight hours of determining if the barrel of a gun needs to be realigned, or what type of bullets work best in an AK-47.  I just sit there, alone, listening to Pandora on my computer because I have nothing to add to the conversation.

The guys like to go out for gun field trips to the shooting range once in a while.  Every time they went, I was coincidentally busy.  That was not a sarcastic or sly remark, I really was busy.  One time the Chuck finale was on.  Another time I had a date with some stir fry.  I knew eventually they would reel me in because "I would look funny shooting a gun".  Finally, I agreed to meet them at a shooting range so they would shut up about me missing the target and screaming like a girl when a gun went off.

It was a dark and stormy night.  I made it to the shooting range which is located on a cliff above a busy interstate.  The wind was blowing my car back and forth, and those who know me know I'm not a light guy, so that was a shocker in and of itself.  I heard thunder, and looked at the weather radar on my phone.  While it looked stormy, nothing serious was on the way.  That is when I realized I was hearing gun fire.  I ducked my head, said a prayer to not kill myself or others, and made my way in to Sound of Freedom.  At first sight, it doesn't sound like a name for a shooting range.  It sounds more like a music or patriotic store.  Nope.  It was full of ammunition, guns, mounted animals, testosterone, camouflage, and guys with bad goatees.

Eventually, the guys from work showed up, and we paid to go and shoot at targets that were conspicuously shaped like human heads.  One guy gave me earmuffs that allowed for human speech to come through, but kept gunfire to a dull roar.  We walked to the range and my life changed forever for a few minutes.

The shooting range looked like something out of a drug-induced nightmare.  It was like the 60's mated with a warehouse and a horse track.  You know the gates the horses start from?  Well, it was like that, but with the lanes colored in what can only be described as psychedelic colors.  The only thing missing from this place was The Monkees singing "FREAKY RAINBOW ROOM!!!".

I watched on as the others emptied clip after clip of ammunition.  Suddenly, a realization came to me.  Based on the price of ammunition in the lobby, anime is by far a cheaper hobby.  With one victory secured for my hobby, I was offered to shoot something called a twenty-two.  I took the pistol in my hand and evidently pointed it the wrong direction judging form everyone's reaction.  With my barrel pointed the correct way, I shot at Fauntleroy, the name I gave our silent, bullet-holed profile man-dude.  Then I learned something.  Evidently, you need bullets in the gun to shoot at the target.  Fine, I knew that much, but I had no idea that was what they referred to as a magazine.  I thought that was a grip or something.  After putting bullets in the piece, I shot at Fauntleroy with a passion that could only be called psychotic.  I yelped like a trooper, apologized to Fauntleroy for clipping his ear, and laid the twenty-two down.

After emptying a few magazines, I sat down and watched the others shoot themselves silly.  One guy had a sub machine gun and was missing his target, Patricia, a lot.  So more attention was on fixing his sight.  Eventually, he broke Patricia's heart more times than I could count.  Then the big guns were brought out.  I was offered to shoot something called a nine millimeter.  I said no, I needed to level up my gun slinging skills.  They looked at me as if I was speaking in latin or something, and, with more volume, started destroying the targets.

Yes people, these are programmers.  Those nerdy guys you think work behind a desk and computer?  They are actually gun-wielding enthusiasts.  Remember that next time you call tech support.

Eventually, I was coerced into shooting one of these bad beats, and I am proud to say I didn't scream as loud when it went off in my hand, though the recoil was a pain.  Nearly tore the hide off of my hand.  I noticed sparks coming out of the barrel, so I figured I would be engulfed in flames any second.  So I put the gun down, and cowered next to the wall, hoping they would leave soon.  A little while later, we left and I got a brand new appreciation for guns.

Now I can see why some people would want to choose shooting guns as a hobby.  I mean it's relaxing...no...it is exciting...wait...it's...expensive?  Fine, I still don't see it, and I doubt I ever will.  I would much rather use throwing stars or the force to stop a crook than open my bag, load my magazine, put the magazine in the gun, prep the barrel, point at the perp, take off the safety, and pull the trigger.  See?  By step two I would already be mugged or killed.  This is why I employ the "cover face and genitals, run like mad, and scream like a girl" tactic.  Gets them every time.

This post brought to you by someone who scored perfectly on a hunter's safety exam.

The Allengator

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So This Entry Happened...
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86
So the past month has been filled with a lot and not much, in that order.  To put things in to a nice synopsis:

- Went to my first full-on anime con in Springdale Arkansas and had a blast!  More details will appear on my anime blog in the near future, when I feel like typing outside of work.

- Caught a nasty case of bronchitis the past month

- Had a birthday, nothing special happened

Other than that, I have absolutely nothing to talk about!  All I have is blah blah blah, single and depressed about it.  Job going well, blah blah blah.  What is it like to have blah blah friends blah blah Mario. 

In closing, try some ketchup with your fish next time.  It is quite yummalicious.

The Allengator
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My Last Day Alive
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86
On the subject of the rambling thoughts of my mind lately, I feel the need to share a dream I just had.  To preface this entry, I want to say that I often dream of my death, usually in gruesome ways.  One time, I was impaled from behind to the point that the spear was sticking out of my mouth (that would definitely be an ouchie), and another I was being chased by my so-called friends in a field and they overtook me and burnt me at the stake.  What is odd is that these don't bother me.  Perhaps its the fact that it is so over the top that it doesn't scare me, or maybe it just seems too unrealistic.  I really don't have a good answer for that.  In fact when I tell people I often dream of my gruesome death the reactions range from "that's disturbing" to "seek professional help".  Let me say that I don't welcome nor obsess over these things, but see them as my subconscious pulling a prank on the rest of my conscious.  The id is pretty ticked off when that happens.

So yes, I dream of death often, but a recent one has weighed a lot on my mind lately.  The dream is actually simple, but I think reveals a lot about my attitude.  My doctor comes to my house, which is weird because he is not known for making house calls.  I've been feeling really down and ill, and he tells me without sugarcoating it "You only have 24 hours to live".  I'm not old or deathly ill, just under the weather. so I asked him if he was joking, and he told me with a straight face he was not.  He then goes into some kind of "Your air and blood tubes are closing in.  Soon you won't be able to breathe or feel anything.   No one has ever lived more than a day when hearing about this."  He leaves and then I have to prepare for my funeral and take care of any last minute business or items.  Instead, I lay there, stunned.  I don't cry, I don't scream.  Nothing.  I just lie there in fear of the inevitable, waiting for death to come to me.  The thing is that I am good enough to go around, do anything I want, but I have a small window of opportunity to tie up loose ends on this earth.  And I just lay there.  I did nothing while my family gathered around me and I started to give away my stuff.  Then I close my eyes for the final time, and I wake up freaked out.

I've never had that violent of a reaction to a dream before.  I used to have nightmares as a kid, which are silly now that I'm older, but this one really got to me.  Would I really waste my last day on this Earth, especially when I have the capabilities to do whatever I want?  Would I die with regrets of not living life to the fullest?  Do I have unfinished business that I need to attend to?  It is actually an interesting thought exercise that usually I admittedly don't pay attention to.  When asked that question, I say that I don't regret anything nor fear it, but in my dream, in my subconscious, I am scared, and I feel remorse for this happening.  What is left unsaid?  What else do I need to do in this life?

Sure, I have goals and somewhat of a bucket list.  One is to travel down the entirety of route 66 across the country.  Another is to visit all the Hard Rock Cafes in America.  Obvious ones include a wife, family, and the "American Dream".  I want all of that.  With my new job and holidays and whatnot, the trips are a reality.  However, I'm not even close to achieving that goal of having a family of my own.  I know I balk about that a lot on here, but if I were to die alone, I would die regretful. 

Next time you are asked that question, if you only have a week, or a day to live, think about it long and hard.  Sure, it may not be realistic, but imagine you were told you will definitely without fail die on this day in a week's time, how would you feel?  Would you regret anything?  Would you do something differently?  Would you travel or do something different or out of character?  Who would you tell?  Who would care and be there for you?

Perhaps this is from my recent studying of items of a philosophical nature.  Maybe this is my wake up call to do something.  Whatever it is, I'm confused about any action to take.  I'm going to try some new things in the coming months to see what happens, like an experiment.  I'm interested to see if my basic nature really is changing, or if I need to get back to reality and face life head on.

I want to do more than I did in my dream.  That's all I know for certain right now.

The Allengator
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Romance, Solitude, Philosophy, Women, and a Dark Sadness
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86
I've been waxing philosophically lately.  Sure, it is partially my usual seasonal disorder of depression, but it just doesn't seem like it usually does.  Perhaps I'm about to undergo another evolution in the character of Allengator, maybe I'm just having a worse time than usual.  Who knows?

I hate being a loner, but that seems to be my role in this world.  I'm also the nice guy, which I'm starting to take some insult to.  Nearly everyday I have people, acquaintances, strangers tell me that I'm a nice guy.  So far that has gotten me...nowhere.  No one truly appreciates the value of niceness anymore.  To get anywhere in life, you have to be able to get your hands dirty.  Being told your nice is like being in the friend zone.  You know what I'm talking about, women see you as a friend and a friend only.  I'm sorry, but if I am friends with a female, more than likely it is because I feel some kind of attraction towards her.  I would be hard-pressed to find any heterosexual men who would consider a female being a "friend only".

Right now, I mainly have two people who talk to me, and that is putting the term lightly.  Their social lives dictate that I am only allotted a certain number of minutes of conversation a week.  Here, I would bend over backwards for anyone I consider to be my friend, but their time is better spent chatting with others on Facebook, working, or going places with other people while I am alone in my room twiddling my thumbs.  Dedication is something that just doesn't exist anymore.  

I'm also considering becoming more misogynistic than I am now.  I'm not saying that I think less of women, but I am starting to revert back to that third grade version of myself that has a huge mistrust and disgust for women.  So far, every single female I have met in my life has let me down at least once, many more times than that.  They also just see me as a tech guy, or someone who is a "buddy".  I've tried talking to women from dating ads, but it always ends up the same.  I talk to them, and as soon as I send them a pic, they ignore me.  So yeah, I know I'm not the traditional definition of sexy or even cute, but I think its beyond rude to just drop someone as soon as you see them.  I talked to someone for a couple of weeks and she kept talking even after I sent a pic.  Things were going great until, just suddenly, she stopped talking to me.  Nothing.  I looked things over, I didn't say anything that looked offensive or bad, I apologized to her if I did say something out of turn.  Nothing.  This story repeats itself many times, one way or another.  

I want a girlfriend badly.  I would say desperately, but that would make me sound like a pathetic moron which I try to stay away from as much as I can.  I am a romantic person, as much as I despise Hollywood's and fictional novel's definition of it.  I have a lot to offer, I'm loyal, and I'm passionate.  The older I get, the more I'm sure I'll never meet that special someone.  I feel the clock ticking, but not in the traditional sense of the ever present "biological clock", though that too to some extent.  You see, I know love it patient, and all the qualities you can find for it in the book of Corinthians, but I also read somewhere that it is also bad for a person to die with passion.  Its just that, when I do meet that someone, I don't want to feel like I wasted my time getting to her, or lost time because I was not looking.  When I find her, I want to dedicate my life, my soul, my being to her.  Whatever time I could spend convincing her that someone as pathetic as I can and does truly love her and a fleeting hope that the favor can be returned.  The thing is the longer it takes to find her, the less time I will get to do that.  Every day that passes by is one less day of not being able to hold her, to talk to her, to love her, and to prove that she is the thing that completes me.

See, I am a romantic, even if it is a pathetic version of one.

Of course between the population of females of the Earth either calling me a "Nice Guy Buddy", ignoring me, or just overlooking me, it is almost like they have declared me some kind of pariah in this life.  Always there but never touched.  Always there and never considered.  A perfectly fine piece of machinery that is becoming seized up with lack of use.

Without this thing, I feel incomplete, like I have nothing to live for.  I'm not talking about serious life-ending here, but I have no direction in my life.  Sure, I have a great job now that I wouldn't trade for anything, but that is only part of the puzzle.  The job hasn't really transformed me as much as I had hoped.  At the end of the day, sure, I'm wearing boxers instead of briefs now, and I have some more self esteem, but I'm still me, and I'm still outside the social circles of human kind.  I just wish someone would appear in my life, turn it upside down, and ride off with me in the sunset.  At the very least, with someone special in my life, I would have that direction, I would have that goal, and I would not feel as alone in this world as I do now.

I've been reading about solitude lately.  Have you ever read the book Walden by Henry David Thoreau?  I've been mulling over some thoughts from that lately and while some of it is, in my opinion, poppycock, or over my head, there is some truth to it.  This is a man, who lived in civilization, then moved into the woods to write about mankind and how to live life.  This by no means makes him an expert in any stretch of the imagination, but he has some thought provoking passages in there:

"
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion"

To live deliberately is something I think I still need to learn how to do.  I'm not saying I want to go camping or live out by myself, but it seems like a foreign concept to me.  Also.  I've been reading a lot in the book of Ecclesiastes out of the Bible lately.


"Two are better than one,  Because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

An opposing viewpoint to living alone is having that companion to help you back up.  So if I feel like I have no companion, then there is woe for me?  If I want to seek a higher understanding of nature, I have to go for solitude?  Even in philosophy, I can't find a direction to go towards.  I've questioned a lot of things lately.  I've also pondered about the meaning of life, what my raison d'etre is, and why the world can be such a cruel and lonely place for someone like me.

In the end I'm becoming more sure that my fate may be to die alone, or not know true companionship.  People move on with their lives and abandon you.  The world keeps spinning irregardless.  Sure, I've had friends over the years, but no one sticks around or feels like putting in the effort that I put into the relationship.  All I have to do is put on a brave front, a smile, even though my heart is breaking.  I choose to hide my true self to people because no one likes him nor wants to take the time to understand him.
  For now, that is probably the direction my life is going, and its a path that will ultimately lead to my death, alone, incomplete, and forgotten by all, for we all come from dust, and to dust, we return.  Come into the world with nothing, leave with nothing.

I feel secure in putting these thoughts on here because no one will ever see them nor would they care.  This place is a better journal than a pad of paper would ever provide.

The Allengator
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Chuck Post-Mortem
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86

It was hard saying goodbye to a friend you invited to your house over the last five years, but tonight it was done.  Chuck is now over.  I know my love for the show has been well documented on here, so I will just cut to the chase of what made tonight, and the series itself, so great to me.

The mid 00's (not sure if I am hitting that decade correctly, but whatever), brought us all kinds of great television shows.  During that time three main shows ruled my life in the form of Lost, Heroes, and Chuck.  Lost was getting ready to end it's run, Heroes went off the rails a little too much and never recovered, but Chuck was always there.  Sure, the jarring reboots were not the best in television writing, but it still maintained something special.  After it ended tonight, that was it.  The last of the great shows from the mid-to-late 00's. 

Since then, no show has held a candle to Chuck.  I've tried my best to get in to shows, but so far no dice.  Grimm seems like a darker version of Pushing Daisies.  Glee got a bit to agenda-ish and big-headed for my taste.  New Girl, while good, has dropped a few pegs lately.  I've tired several times to get in to Once Upon a Time (and may still get there to help fill the void), but just can't seem to appreciate it.  Chuck just had a feel to it that compelled me to watch and root for team Bartowski every week.

Perhaps it is because, especially at first, the series spoke to me.  Chuck is a down on his luck nerd who has seemingly no luck with women, stuck in a dead end job, and has an affinity for pop culture and video games.  I could relate easily.  When the series first aired, I was Chuck Bartowski.  Watching him evolve from man-child, to man, to competent spy made me live vicariously through the show.  Ok, so I have no will to be a spy, and feel like I'm a long ways from being a "man", but it was still relatable,

The series was not perfect.  This season is probably my second least favorite season, but even at its worst it still excelled where most shows fail nowadays.  Yes, the writing was sometimes clumsy.  The plot started making little sense.  More holes in the mythology started to appear the longer it was on the air.  I didn't like the transition from plain Chuck to super spy Chuck.  The final antagonist virtually came out of nowhere.  The list can go on. 

The thing the series had that a lot of other series lack was heart.  You could tell the actors loved doing what they did.  Chuck fans were extremely passionate to keep it going for five seasons. Nearly every interview with a cast member, they would bring up the fans and thank them, and you knew they meant it.  I doubt we will see this happen to another series for a long time.  Sure, some shows have more of a following, but Chuck fans were passionate, loyal, and acted when called.  Name another series that went to the lengths that Chuck fans have gone.

Also, I would have never guessed the show would last as long as it did when it first premiered.  I would have given it maybe two seasons.  It went for five seasons.  Almost 100 episodes which would have given them syndication rights.  Who would have guessed that it would outlast Heroes in both length and number or seasons?  Heroes started off hot and when Chuck appeared on the schedule during Heroes' sophomore season, I would have never called that.  The series came back after the awful writer's strike which caused the death of other shows like Pushing Daisies.  It had partial seasons, premiered halfway into the television season, was opposite of Gossip Girl, House, and Dancing With the Stars.  Yet it survived for five seasons.  I think that in an of itself is an accomplishment.

So yes, tonight was bittersweet for me.  I will miss the little show that could.  I am still in denial about the whole thing, but I will come to accept it in due time.  Thank you Chris Fedec, Zachary Levi, and the others of the cast and crew of this incredible show.  You gave me reason to turn on my television at least once a week.  Actually, I think I misspoke there.

Chuck is the little show that did.

The Allengator

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A Way to Stop People From Speeding
Selecao Emblem
[info]allengator86
I know someone who speeds in a vehicle and wanted to take the measures to ensure this doesn't happen again.  I prevented the car from ever being started again, went to the dealership where the person bought the car and shut them down, and then tore down every billboard as well shut down the roads where the speeding happens.  Yes, it may seem like overkill, but better to cut off access for thousands of people than let one man have the opportunity to speed.  Unfortunately, this didn't work to well.

There are more than one road for someone to speed on.  I take alternate highways to work, so it was only a matter of time before my acquaintance found another road to speed on.  I promptly shut down those roads as well.  Soon, every main artery of the highway system was shut down.  However, I did not take into consideration the side roads, often dirt or gravel, like most are in Missouri, and now he speeds on those.  I don't get what I did wrong.  I shut down every major route that a regular person would choose, closed all the dealerships that dealt with individuals like him, and, yes, innocent people now have to take inconvenient methods of traveling as well as buying cars only from places that I so authorize them to.  It is a headache for everyone, but at least the speeders can be easily caught.

So I had each side road monitored.  Many people have been pulled over.  Some are people who didn't know the speed limit because they didn't see the sign.  Some are people who drive the same kind of car the speeder did.  Some bought the car from the dealership.  It doesn't matter if they bought it before the speeder was caught, it is still wrong to buy a car from there! 

Despite all of these measures, the speeder decided to go underground, through nature trails, anything to circumvent my blockades, and nothing seems to stop him from trying to bypass the laws.  I don't get it.  I monitored everything he did.  I blocked his favorite car dealerships.  I did everything in my power to keep him from speeding, but he passes me by, and all the while regular commuters are irritated with my new restrictions.

Why are my methods backfiring against me?

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Yes, I know that was a bit over the top, but I sincerely believe that this is the equivalent to either PIPA or SOPA passing.  My name is Allen, I am a website developer, and it will scare me to see these bills pass.  I am against piracy.  Nothing irritates me more than seeing years of hard work being stolen with nothing but an Internet connection.  However, these pieces of legislation will not solve the problem, and will only encourage pirates to circumvent the restrictions on the government while stifling the basic freedoms that the average Internet user has.  I think a better initiative can be passed, but it will take more than just a few special interests and media companies to do it.  Companies like Google, Wikipedia, Facebook, and other media giants need to be included for any draft of anti-piracy on the Internet.  In fact, all mediums, including television, film, the Internet, radio, and other media methods should get their say in this form of legislation.

In short, please consider pulling your support of either of these bills.  I understand that we are trying to dissolve something that is wrong, but we need to go about it in a smart way.  I truly believe there are major unintended consequences if these pass, and that will not just hurt some lackadaisical pirates, not just the average Internet user, but people like me who intend on making this their form of work and supporting their lives.  Please put an end to these flawed bills.

Thank you,

Allen
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Ketchup...Er...Catsup?...Um...Catch Up!
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[info]allengator86

Hello to the wild world of the Internet and all two of you who follow my blog on here!  It's been a long time since I last updated on here (about six months since I've done a blog entry proper on here), and quite a bit has happened.  Part of it has caused me to be away from this blog as well as my other blog, and for once I'm not going to overly complain about it.  I think this calls for a catch up session on here.  Thus the title.  Well, I also have an affinity for ketchup, but that's beside the point.

The first bit of news I am happiest about.  I have quit my old job and started a new job!  The old Baal-Mart was really getting to me both physically and mentally.  In short, I was becoming a depressed, overly-jaded elderly man when I should be feeling the energy of my so-called youth.  As much as I would love to go over the juicy details of my departure, I will talk about it some.  My last day involved a couple of bro-hugs.  I said "bye" to people who didn't realize I was leaving.  I also left mutually.  Unfortunately, as much as they have screwed me and my family and friends over, I still had to have this friggin' "nice guy" act.  People have been telling me far and wide that I'm a "nice guy" lately.  I do try, but my question is "when will my day come?"  Nice guys need a wife to procreate with too!

Handing in my two weeks was probably my best moment ever.  I felt emancipated after handing the three sentence letter to lower management.  What made it sweeter was that it was to my assistant and his immediate underling manager.  Two birds with one stone.  I handed the letter, told him "this is my two weeks" and walked off before he could tell me he wouldn't take it.  It was liberating, and for the first time the world was brighter and birds were chirping where I worked.  Now this may partially be because they just installed new lighting and a bird was on the loose (and pooping all over the place I may add), but I would like to think it was the freedom ringing in my heart.

Now of course I wouldn't have left without locating new work.  This is a funny story...well, for me at least.  After spending over a year securing work and going through grueling interviews and painful job fairs, I landed me a job at an insurance company doing maintenance work on their legacy systems on an outdated programming language.  It was a contracting position that was supposed to be "long-term".  No benefits, paid vacation, taxes, or sick days.  I asked the chances of securing regular full-time employment, and they said that could take some time.  I was fine with that, because it was still a sight better than being yelled at by a man who just comes up to my nipples.  Then I got a call from another place with a similar offer, except they claim to have a more concrete plan.  They wanted to hire me as a contractor for a few months, then pursue full-time employment if things worked out.  I had classes with a couple of guys there and most are graduates from the same college.  They used more up-to-date software, but were a much smaller operation.  I decided to go with them, because 1) It wasn't insurance (I would have to take classes on insurance and government regulations...ick!) and 2) They seemed to be a more tight-knitted group of people.  In the end, I hope I made the right choice.  I'm still in the contract "grace period", but I really hope to be a full-fledged member of the team.  If I don't, which is always a possibility, I can at least say I have valuable experience in the field now.  I have learned so much in the past few weeks it isn't funny.

What I like about the job is that it is in the field I studied for, I don't have to deal with over-bearing managers who annoy the snot out of me, and I don't have to deal with John Doe, the hillbilly who carries a shotgun with him everywhere as a customer.  I have been getting some much needed validation and genuine appreciation for what I do.  A job hasn't provided the satisfaction I now have like this one has.  I'm happier, less depressed, and can hold my head up high.  My class reunion will say Allengator is a Programmer instead of a peon at Baal-Mart.  Not that there is anything wrong, but I am smart, and I have gotten an education, and I can do so much more than serve for people I could beat three times over on an IQ test.  I'm not getting full of myself, but it feels better when the CEO of a company is someone who actually works and knows a ton more than you do.

But enough about that.  My personal life has changed some too.  First, I've been trying to be more spontaneous and brave with what I do.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to bars or clubs, perish the thought.  I mean I am doing things I kept telling myself to do, but never got the motivation for.  I became friends with a really neat person, and she has pushed me to try new things and get myself out there more.  Now when I see a place that catches my eye, I will usually check it out.  I am no longer curious about the arcade.  When a place catches my eye, I say "why not" and go for it.  I wish I could be that brave with women, but I'm getting there.  The guys I work with have taken me to places I haven't been to before.  It's helped me get out of the rut I've been in lately.  I'm still in a rut in a way, but I have options to go after now. 

Unfortunately, my love life is nothing to write about right now.  I went on a lunch date with a girl a few months ago, but that has been about it.  I'm still looking for love, but it seems to be taking its sweet little time getting over here.  Maybe I already know my future wife.  Maybe she is still out there.  Only the future holds the answer, and it is being the proverbial bully, lording the key just barely out of my reach.  The future is probably a basketball star or Asian.

My hobbies are varied now too.  Spending more time at work has caused me to barely keep up with the shows I like that are on TV now, let alone any extra ones, like anime, or time to play games.  I have recently acquired all of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Spice and Wolf, the two Evangelion movies, Baka and Test, Squid Girl, and Fairy Tail lately.  There aren't a ton on the horizon that I want to get, aside from more Fairy Tail and Madoka Magica.  I need to get more involved again, but I am still transitioning to my new job, and if the rest of the crew is any indication, my free time may be coming to a close soon.  I hope to keep my life compartmentalized like I have been to so far.  I need my down time between shifts at work.  I need my mindless television, my time with friends and family.  I hope I can keep some semblance of that in the future.  Only time will tell.

As for blogging, there is no way I am going to be returning to the update regimen I used to have.  I can barely tolerate coming home to type in front of a computer after spending 8+ hours typing in front of a computer.  Plus, I have my other blog that I need to update again, which keeps my interests more.  My life is less interesting and I have less to blog about since I am out of soap opera city now.  I also have less time to dedicate to the blog.  Just don't be surprised if you don't hear from me much for the near future.  I will blog some again, it just may be a while.  Keep your RSS feeds or eyes on this blog and you may be surprised with an entry again in the future.  Maybe around the holiday season when I get more days off.

Until then, keep everything frosty!

The Allengator

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New Anime Blog - Take 2
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[info]allengator86
The blog has been changed to http://www.animezingblog.com. Please update the link and join in the fun!

The Allengator
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My New Anime Blog
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[info]allengator86
Hey guys!

I am not ending the hiatus on here just yet, but I wanted to link you to a new blog I am starting solely dedicated to anime, since it is probably my main hobby now. You can find my anime blog at http://www.animeblog.allenspalace.com. I am not giving up on here just yet. I would like to keep this blog for other nerd stuff as well as a personal reflection area. I am still having a hard time of finding things to talk about with people in real life let alone on here, so the hiatus will be continuing for a while longer, sorry. Again, I plan on updating here again sometime in the future, I just don't have a time table for that. Expect to find more activity on my other blog for now.

The Allengator
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