allengator86

I have an admission to make. I used to make fun of anime theme songs. Seriously, most of them make absolutely no sense. I've been watching Hetalia: Axis Powers and the ending credits song makes no sense whatsoever. Hey hey, mama. Hey hey, papa. Something about drinking beer out of a boot. Use a brush and paint the colors of the world. Something to that effect. It seems like almost every anime theme song I have watched makes about that much sense to me. They don't. I could go on and on, but I made a startling discovery the other day.

Namely, this:



Now watch this, and please, PLEASE tell me how this theme song makes any sense whatsoever. It starts off promising, but when you think about it, what the heck does it have to do with the show itself? Here is another example:



Again, it makes absolutely no sense. Look up the Full House theme song. Its the same thing. I know I'm picking on 90's television theme songs, but still, American television is not immune to the "theme song makes no sense" bug.

Well, that comes to my second startling revelation. I found a theme song that does make sense. It brings me no pleasure to show you this, but this may be the most relevant theme song of all time:



You know its a screwed up universe when Saved by the Bell of all shows makes the most sense.

So out of this I've learned to never question anime songs again, because we are just as guilty as they are. Good luck getting the songs out of your head.

The Allengator

You know, blogging was much easier when I didn't work all the time and went to school. I want to change that, but when you have no real social life, its kind of hard. All I've done is go job hunting, worked before the crack of dawn, and slept. I've also watched 5 seasons of The Office, one of Family Matters, and various anime sets. I've also spent time catching up with some games and I'm working on some programming projects.

So sorry for the boringness and lameness of updating. I have no crazy adventures and nothing inspiring in the tank either. What I need is something major happen in my life, like a career change or a nice girlfriend. I need something exciting to write about. I have some reviews in the tank, but that's about it.

I would love to do a podcast, but I need a partner to do it with. I have some good ideas for it, but I want someone to do it with me because doing it by myself just isn't as much fun as it sounds. Any takers?

Anyways, I'll try harder to update this thing, but don't expect too much. Until later!

The Allengator

One day I was just minding my own beeswax at work, just straightening up the shelves. Remember I work at super happy corporate international conglomerate mart + grocery. The sales portion of the store falls under two categories, general items and grocery items. I have worked there over four years and have enjoyed the general items section of the store immensely, when I got to work there. Groceries was never my interest or problem.

Anyways, I suck at straightening shelves. I have gorilla arms. I also have no idea where anything is, so when a customer asks me where or what an item is, I have to look at them like they are senile and just say "I dunno. I don't work here." I have found this method ineffective over time, so I try to help them, but almost always fail at it, still resulting in a mad customer, but at least I tried, dangit.

So I was straightening up these shelves, right? Suddenly, this very good looking girl comes my way, and her face is screaming "I need help now". After working in a place like this for some time, you can read faces well. She walks up to me, and I'm preparing for something tedious, like bread or beer.

She walks up to me and simply asks, "Where is the naked stuff?"

I froze in place. Naked stuff? What does that mean? We don't have an adult section of the store. We don't sell those kind of magazines. Is she coming on to me? Is she asking me to strip down so we can "produce" in the grocery section? Is this some kind of prank?

Then I got it.

"Do you mean bacon stuff? She gave me a weird look, tilted her head to one side and said, "No, the NAKED stuff". Now I'm all confused.

I think some more and more, then she added some rather helpful information.

"Its a fruit drink" she says. Oh! Now I know what she wants! She wants naked juice! It was just a wrongly telegraphed message from a semi-hot girl.

I smirked, dipped my head, and cooly said, "right next to the fuzzy navel".

The naked stuff is across from the fuzzy navel. Brilliant. No. Seriously. The dairy counter is across from the booze. I wouldn't make this up, would I?

And that was my third-ish best memory ever from my current job.

The Allengator

Whew, its been a while. I needed to dust off my blog on here. Its not that I didn't want to blog, its just that too much has been taking up what little free time I had before. Most of it is work and career related, and that's the topic of this post.

As I've mentioned on here numerous times, I'm seeking employment, and I've posted my resume and other associated material on the Internet. Its nothing major, but I posted one that I used for my competition (each contest required a one page resume). I included little things like "languages I can code in" and "technology experience" and "seeking a profession as a programmer or web developer". You know. Little hints. But you know what they say about certain people and them taking hints.

So I got contacted a couple days after I posted my resume, and I was excited. It was from America's largest supplemental insurance carrier that I can't specifically name on here for fear of getting my knees smashed in. I saw they had a posting for a developer so I was hoping against hope that it would be it. Then I thought "wait, that's a corporate job, and corporate is definitely NOT located down here." They were also very vague on the position I was being interviewed for, but I set up an appointment anyways.

Interview time came and I brought a portfolio filled with resumes, sources of recommendation from colleagues from my college classes and people I've shown off my technical prowess to, and example of code I have written. I went in and the guy said, "This interview is for sales".

And my heart sank 1,000 feet.

I am not a salesperson. Sure, I put "Sales Associate" on my resume, but that really means "Stocker" in work-speak. I don't push people to buy stuff. I think that turns them off, or at least turns me off. I don't like messing with people, or trying to make them purchase something I don't agree with. I can't lie to people and have a clean conscience. I just can't be a sales person. Its not in my blood. A big reason I went into programming was to isolate myself from interacting with people as much as possible. I know its not entirely avoidable, but its certainly a sight better than "Salesman".

So I forced myself through the interview. He started to notice that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't cut out to be a sales person. I tried my best to answer honestly and what he wanted to hear, but its insanely hard to convince someone that coding in HTML equates to selling someone supplemental insurance. I tried tactics and finding ways to make the methodology of coding to selling someone some crap I've never heard of. His body language made me uncomfortable.

Then he actually made a couple of underhanded swipes of my hobbies. He said that programming gets boring after a while and that there is nothing interesting after working in it for a few months. I kept my composure, but I could clearly see that we did not meet eye to eye.

After some more pleasantries, we parted ways and I vow to never go back to that place again, even if I get called for a return interview.

So I look at my resume, headlining "programming and web development". Right there in bolded and italicized text. In plain English. Guess what. I got an email from another guy wanting me to be a sales person.

This time I was tactful and said that it was not in my career field. I really wanted to call him an idiot and just say "read my freaking resume". But I made it crystal clear that I did not want a job in sales and that I was not suited for it in the least. I respectfully declined his offer and said that it concluded our business on the matter.

Then he called me.

Do you not read my things? Did you not read my email or read my resume? Do you take me for an incompetent fool? I said no to your offer and NO MEANS NO!

After doing some research on the company of the second guy, I found out they have absolutely no web presence, no Wikipedia, and I could not locate them in the Better Business Bureau. I think he might have been a scammer, but he probably was just a small operation.

Long story short, my job search is going nowhere fast and believe you me, I've tried everywhere I can think of. But, by golly, if you love selling random insurance or other junk, this is the time for you to find a job here in southwest Missouri!

But before you recruit me into your pyramid scheme, at least please try to read my resume before contacting me.

Please.

The Allengator

So this is one of those stories that is "one thing leads to another". I'll try to keep it as confusing-free as possible.

For about four years now I've hosted my personal domain www.allenspalace.com with Yahoo Web Hosting who was one of the best hosting sites back in the day. For those of you who don't know, in order to have a site, you need someone to host it for you. Its kind of like a real estate company and a house. You have to pay a real estate place to be able to live at that address.

I've been hitting the job market very hard the past few days and I thought to myself: "Hey, hosting my own blog on my site would make me look good!". Normally, I would just forward to this site, but this blog, overall, is not professional and isn't conducive for hiring. I would normally go into a list, but that would take too much time.

So I decided to host a wordtype blog where I can have more freedom, but Yahoo has some seriously pooched mySQL, so I am forced to go to a new hosting site. I found a new hoster and they will supposedly help me with transferring of files and whatnot.

What does this mean to you? It means that sometime in the next week my files will be unavailable, including all audio blogs, images, and executables. They should be back up in a manner of hours if I play my cards right. There will be some downtime, but everything should be back to normal in a few days.

Also, I'm changing the subdomain to this site. So if you're one of those people who are linking to this blog through http://blog.allenspalace.com, then please update your link to http://journal.allenspalace.com. I will be making my new professional blog on the old subdomain, and it will be quite boring for you.

So change your links if you need to. The livejournal address http://allengator86.livejournal.com will remain the same, but the sites that link to it will be different.

All this is just to let you know what's going on, site-wise.

The Allengator

Right, I know that there is a fine line between opinion and appropriateness, but sometimes you have to wonder about DJs and the music they choose. I think all my life has been surrounded by poor music choices at various events, and this past week has forced me to feel the need to say something. First is to prove a fact: DJs support stereotypes.

(For the sake of argument, let's lump band directors, orchestra leaders, and DJ's into the same group. Is it incorrect? Yes. But it beats repeating the list "band directors, orchestra leaders, probablysomethingi'llforgettoaddlater, and DJs". So let's assume that they can all be DJ's since they get to choose which songs are performed.)

Now I am not one to point the finger before pointing it at myself. Do I fit some stereotypes? Absolutely. I'm a geek who is into video games, anime, and J-pop. You can't get much more stereotypical than that. If I were to do some karaoke or something, I would probably do Still Alive from Portal, Ride on Shooting Star by the Pillows, and Hail to the Geek by the Deaf Pedestrians. If I had my own radio station, it would be branded as weird. I would choose music that would be considered rock, overall. Rock with occasional showtunes.

However, the difference with the radio and playing for an event is completely different. On the radio, people can turn you off. With an event, people will have to assault you to make you quit. Trust me, I've been to several events where people got close to that.

However, live events you really need to be careful of choosing a playlist. For example, at your aunt's wedding, you really shouldn't perform the song The Thunder Rolls. Raining Blood would probably also count as a no-no. Basically, any song that insinuated cheating, killing of spouses, or anything by Barry White is strictly off limits at a wedding. But guess what. You are almost over budget, so the only two people you can have perform for you are either your idiot kid brother or your cousin who can only play the spoons and accordion. As they say, in Heaven they give you a harp. In Hell they give you an accordion. So you have no choice but to go with the cheap DJ, and guess what is playing? The entire Kill Them All album by Metallica.

Sometimes there are funerals that get performances. Thriller would NOT be appropriate for a funeral, especially when people start dancing. Sitting up With the Dead would NOT be appropriate for a funeral. I know I'm repeating myself over and over, but I think someone needs to write down the rules for what can and can't be played at functions because they happen all the time.

After 9/11, we were having a Christmas party when in choir, and I brought my Christmas Comedy album featuring such hits like Jingle Cats and Deck the Stalls. One of the songs on said album was Christmas at Ground Zero. Remember after 9/11 it seemed you couldn't go a day without the news mentioning "Ground Zero", and here we were, some blond idiot wanting to play this song. Now, I think the song was awesome, but a voice in my head was shouting "INAPPROPRIATE!!!!" over and over and over. I told him not to play it. He did anyways, and some of the people looked offended. He was an idiot. I bet he would make an awesome DJ.

At my sister's college they have a replica of the car from the Beverly Hillbillies, and they are super proud of that. They also host a regional basketball tournament where states as far as Minnesota come to show off their basketball prowess. I live in Missouri, which is, stereotypically, redneck/hillbilly country, and a lot of us down here really want that to stop. Sure, we may never be refined like someone from Chicago, but I don't eat squirrel meat or desire to mate with a cousin. That's just wrong. But no. There is a national ball tournament, and guess which song was played not only at every single game, but before every single half? That's right, the theme song to the Beverly Hillbillies.

Which brings me to what got me prompted to write this thing out. While at Kansas City for a national tournament that focused on preparing to enter the workforce through professionalism and leadership, we had an opening and closing ceremony that can only be described at loud and live. There was a ton of energy, and the DJ was doing so so good. Sure, I didn't care for half the songs he chose, but kudos to the man for choosing such indie classics like Chelsea Dagger and hits like Thunderstruck. Bad Romance and Don't Stop Believin' blared on the speakers and I can't fault him for that. People liked that. There were people from New York to LA, from the Virgin Islands to freaking Guam, and it came time for the final song. This needed to be a song of epicness that would give us a great head start to the closing ceremony. Maybe something meaningful, or maybe something electric. I wanted to hear something from Space Jam, or maybe even something that Glee performed but by the original artist. Queen would have been epic.

But no.

Instead, we got this, which admittedly the people from Oklahoma, Texas, Tennessee, Missouri, and Arkansas liked, but other people kind of looked in horror.

Yes, at a national leadership and professionalism contest, they played this little gem.

During the entire song I yelled "EPIC FAIL! EPIC FAIL!" repeatedly while facepalming and doubling over in sheer horror while everyone around me was screaming the song.

So there, Missouri is nothing but a bunch of hillbilly rednecks. Are ya happy now, DJs?

The Allengator

A small note on here telling you how we did. My partner and I competed in a national competition for web design and we got our results back tonight. We ended up getting 9th place in the contest, which beats my goal of top ten.

I also looked at the breakdown of specific scores to make myself feel a bit better, and there was a section that was called "Page Programming", or something to that effect. We got third in that. The reason I am happy about that part is because the programming was mostly myself, and just placing third in that category makes me feel much better, which makes me think that I am the (I know not empirically, but at least in the scope of this contest) third best web programmer in the nation, or nationally ranked programmer, and that makes me smile on the inside.

Do I wish we did better, oh heck yes. I wish I could have went on stage tonight. I know I will also never get that chance again. It was an incredible experience that I will always remember, and just being there was enough to make me feel like I may just have what it takes to make it in the real world.

Next step: Find an actual job in my career field.

The Allengator

So here are some things to look forward in the near future.*

Probably a audio blog or several about my trip to nationals, Kansas City, and possibly Snoopy action. Yes, Snoopy from Peanuts.

Hopefully more audio blogs if my work's schedule gets any better. I actually have/had three waiting to be uploaded, but the stupid hard drive crashed and I haven't had the time to re-download the audio software yet. I even got a new mic to record on.

Some anime reviews coming up, including, but not limited to: Lucky Star, Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, Bamboo Blade (I'm pretty sure I haven't done that yet), Happy Lesson, FMA, and a special non-anime animated show that was a short-lived children's Saturday morning show from the 90's that spawned a great computer game series. Try to figure that one out.

Anime I am anticipating to watch, or at least try out is Happy Lesson: Advance, Toradora, Clannad, My Bride is a Mermaid, Haruhi 1.5 in English, and Code Geass. I may also try out Bleach if I have time, but I barely survived the first episode and had to nearly gnaw my own leg off just to get through. I'm going to try the impossible and try to get past five. I know it will be all uphill, but I found out most ladies who have a remote interest in anime watches Bleach, so maybe I can finally have a conversation with one of them.

I'm also hoping to type about my experiences about job hunting and quitting my currently shabby job. I REALLY want to type about that last one.

So look forward to it, or just read the addition I posted at the end of this entry. Until whenever, toodles!

The Allengator

*Knowing my trend of planning things out in the future, some or none of these may actually happen. I meant to post an e-log from my last state competition, but it got erased along with the other stuff on my hard drive and after working a few hours on it, I just gave up. Maybe it will resurface one day...

First, I will go with the first obvious kill.

Microsoft - Overall you sorta sucked. Sure, Kinect is kinda cool and everything for casual gamers and whatnot, but you seem to be ignoring most of your fanbase outside of a Call of Duty and Halo mention.

Their presentation really didn't appeal to me much and thus will get this brief mention.

Sony - Premium online service? Check. God of War game? Check. Move? Check. 3D games were also mentioned, but some people have been commenting on headaches or are just tired of the glasses gimmick already. I hope this is a sign that 3D is going away again, but based off of Nintendo's conference, that probably won't be the case.

Little Big Planet 2 and Portal 2 were nice announcements, as well as all those shooters that people claim they want to play. Sorcery looked pretty good and I'm happy that Sly Cooper will be returning to form. Also GT5 was announced and a new Twisted Metal is coming out 2011.

As predicted, the PSPGo was just pictured and hardly mentioned. Heh.

Finally, I have to both rave and vent about Nintendo. Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling 90% love for Ninty right now, but I still have a few concerns. Let's first rehash the announcements.

Zelda: Skyward Sword is coming in 2011. Heh to all those "confirmed" Zelda rumors. It looked nice, despite all the "interference" that the Wii had. I was hoping for some more detail in the graphics department, but nice indeed.

Mario Sports Mix. Meh. I have yet to get the last few Mario sport games, so this wasn't a big deal to me.

Golden Sun looks inviting (admittedly, I never played the original), Dragon Quest I really don't care about, Wii Party may be good, and Metroid looked quite good.

As I predicted on some sites, there is indeed a new Kirby console game coming out, but it looked...er...different from what I hoped. Its called Kirby Epic Yarn and it looks...uh...yarn-y. I'm interested in what it entails, but I'm pretty worried about it.

Epic Mickey I am now officially excited about. The callbacks make it worth it, I think. I may like it better than the Kingdom Hearts series, and that's saying something!

Donkey Kong Country Returns!!!!! No, seriously, that's the name of the game, but the name provides more than enough excitement for many people. While Kremlings and probably K. Rool not appearing, it looks like the Donkey Kong platformers from the SNES era, but with 3D graphics. I also love how the game's title is all "In your FACE" when it comes to Nintendo's previous incarnations of the franchise. Put me down as squee-ing.

Before I move on to the biggest news, I want to briefly talk about what was missing from the conference.

Obviously, number one is the vitality sensor. Either Nintendo has given up on it, or it is "still in development". Whatever.

Second is the repeated lack of online caring. Nintendo did not address Wifi issues, friend code issues, DRM(if you call it that) issues, or account issues. I wanted at least one of these addressed badly. I'm pretty disappointed that it may continue for some time.

Now for the biggie. 3.....D.....S!!!!!

The portable itself looks nice, but as of this typing, there is no announced price or release date of the 3DS. It will have in addition to an analog nubby thingy, a 3D slider for determining the strength of the 3D effect, 2 exterior cameras to take 3D photos with, and some kind of tagging feature. Also, it sports some impressive graphics as seen by the Kid Icarus trailer.

What's that? Kid Icarus? Finally????? Ok, maybe I'm not uber excited about it, but I know a Kid Icarus title has been much anticipated and quite honestly looks beautiful, showing off the graphical capabilities of the new system.

Other titles mentioned are a 3D Metal Gear Solid game, Mario Kart, Nintendogs + Cats, and a slew of others. Games not specifically mentioned include Paper Mario (Yay!) and....probably the single best game for the 3DS....Star Fox 64 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am super excited about it! Also, there are suggested rumors that there may be a 3D remake of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on the 3DS because there was a demo of it. Remember, just because its a demo doesn't mean it will be an actual game, similar to Mario 128. However, this does indicate that Nintendo is definitely looking to revive some old franchises and possibly 3D them up!!!! C'mon Smash Bros.

All in all, I am very pleased with Nintendo's conference and was impressed by Sony's, outside the "shoving 3D and trailers/commercials down your throat" part. I am looking forward to the future of gaming more than ever right now!

If any more interesting updates are coming up, I will post them on here.

The Allengator

Hey guys. Just a reminder that I will be gone more than usual again so I can prepare for my contest next week. After the E3-ness goes away, I probably won't blog much outside of what's going on during my trip next week.

Thanks.

The Allengator